Wow! What the heck... 23 years feels like a long time and no time at all. What's crazy? We are still profoundly happy together. Late last year we had the opportunity to reconnect on a deep level. We found a thorough sense of union and togetherness. We still love one another after almost 24 years together and that's something so many people never experience. Soulmates are real and he's mine. Happy Valentine's Day, friends! Happy Anniversary, honey!
Our 23rd wedding anniversary is fast approaching and because we both work Tuesday (2/14), we celebrated our anniversary today instead. Nothing too high maintenance or expensive, we just spent the day together and took in some of our favorite spots around town. We had a great time and just enjoyed one another's company. These kinds of days are the ones I live for, when we get to just enjoy our lives and not worry about things like bills, work, and school.
We started the day with breakfast at our favorite local spot, a pancake place called Stacked. After that we got around and headed out to Gossners to get cheese curds, went to Bluebird Chocolate for valentine's day sweets (chocolate covered gummy bears and macarons), to Caffe Ibis for coffee, went into a cute little soap shop called The Spirit Goat, and then went to one of my favorite places in town, Earthly Awakenings, a neat little shop that sells stones and incense.
In the middle there we enjoyed lunch at Texas Roadhouse, went to the game shop, and took a little shopping trip to the European Food Club, a local store that sells all imported foods from across Europe. We spent too much money on fun, but it's been a long time since we could splurge so we did it without regrets. I couldn't imagine a better day... okay, actually, maybe if it had been warmer, but this is kind of what we deserve for getting married in February!
This human is my sister, Candace. She's turning 34 today (I don't think she'd mind me telling you). I remember when she was born and now she's 34!! She has grown up to be the most lovely human I know. She's sweet, caring, and independent. She came for a week to take care of me when I broke my leg and she's always willing to do for others without asking anything in return.
Happy Birthday, Candi. I love you!
Have you ever felt like you were the most awkward person to ever grace the face of Earth? Like, through time, no one could be more awkward than you? Yes? Welcome to my tribe. I feel like the single most awkward human ever. I started a new job late this summer and there is not one day that passes when I don't feel like someone I looking at me like I'm a complete weirdo. You know what I've discovered from this experience? It is completely okay to be a total weirdo.
Whether I'm as awkward as I feel or not, I'm fine the way I am. Do I say things occasionally that come out completely wrong? Sure! Do I sometimes have no idea what to say and stammer all over myself? Definitely! But, like, that's completely okay. Be a weirdo if that's who you are. People will see you and like you, even if you have a serious inferiority complex to accompany your awkwardness, people will like you if you're authentic. And, if they don't, they will at least respect that you are capable of being who you are.
My affirmation, then, is this... I suspect I will never be past the feeling of complete awkwardness. I'm sure that every time I interact with someone and leave that interaction feeling smaller, I'll be totally fine. Not everyone will understand me and maybe I'm not for everyone, but I'm fine the way I am. Everyone is not looking at me and judging me. Not everyone is talking about me when I'm not around and not every issue is about me. I'm completely, totally awkward and I'm a queen! And, guess what, so are you!!
While pondering the surreal fact that it is literally 2023, I got to considering what 2022 taught me about myself. It was a year filled up ups and downs, maybe more so than any year in recent memory. Definitely the most challenging year we've had since moving to Utah almost 8 years ago. But, I rarely spend time looking back at how I changed or how I grew. Much to the contrary, I've spent a heck of a lot of time thinking about how the previous years were crushing or how miserable I was for this reason or that.
This year, I'm working to manifest happiness and strength. I'll be 45 years old this year and I've finally come to the place where I think understand who I am, at least a little bit, thanks to 2022's many lessons. I'm both too old and too young to dwell in misery. Time to look forward to all the adventures we've yet to have and only look back to consider what I've learned.
So how did 2022 change me? I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. Sounds cliché, but it could not be truer than it was in 2022. I learned to walk on my own two feet again, even though I was in pain and afraid. I learned that disappointments often open doors. I learned that if you put your intentions out in the universe, in earnest, and work toward your goals, things will happen for you. I discovered that when adversity hits, when the unexpected comes, I am capable of picking myself up and carrying on with grace. I can hold more weight on my shoulders than I could have known without the many challenges last year tossed our way.
It was a year of starts, of reconnecting, and also of ends. It was also a year of false starts, worries, and adversity. But, I think, the lesson is this... nothing worth having is easy and challenges encourage more growth than comfort ever could. What did I learn in 2022? I am smart and strong, I always have been, the difference is that I know it now. I cannot wait to see what 2023 has to teach me.
