Monday, November 9, 2009

It's a conspiracy!

I swear to you, the universe is conspiring against me today.

My alarm clock didn't go off this morning, so I didn't wake up until 20 minutes before I should be leaving.  I apparently turned if off so it wouldn't go off over the weekend and forgot to turn it back on.  Hurrying around, I tossed some clothes in the dryer so the wrinkles would fall out, and hopped in the shower.  At 20 minutes until class I realized that there was no way I could get to campus, park, and get to class, since the jerks-that-be at the school decided to tear up not one, but two "white zone" parking lots in the middle of the semester!  What kind of idiot rips up two student parking lots in the middle of the semester when there's already a shortage of parking?  Could they not have done this over the summer, or during winter break?  Yeah, I'm pissed in a major way.

So, I woke Matt up to drive me, which was an issue for two reasons, 1) Matt doesn't wake up very easily or quickly, and 2) We're not in the habit of leaving Anakin alone lately because of his health issues.  With no other choice, 15 minutes to class came and as we were walking out the door we saw that some asshat UPS dumb-dumb left a package on our steps.  This wouldn't normally be a problem, except they put it on the second step, which meant we couldn't open the door without knocking the box off.  It's something I've been waiting for, it's breakable, so just swinging the door open and punting the box across the lawn wasn't an option.  Matt, who's much thinner than I am these days, squeezed out the door and onto the steps and collected the package.  10 minutes left to get to class.

We brought the package inside and hurried out to the car.  We were 1/4th of a mile from the house when I realized I didn't have my lab.  Last week, my geology lab went on a field trip.  That means last weeks lab is due today.  Not only had I forgotten it, I'd forgotten my geologic map and the lab was incomplete.  Fuck.  I told Matt to turn around and just decided that maybe today wasn't my day and that I should stop trying to make it my day.  I decided to stay home until 2pm when I have to go to my lab.  I did manage to get last weeks lab partially completed, so at least I'll get some credit for it.  If I could skip the lab, I sure would, unfortunately, going to the lab is an important part of passing geology as it's worth 25% of my geology grade and there're no make-up labs.

So here I sit, when I should be in class, because I couldn't make today work for me.  I hate Mondays, they're my longest day, and this one has failed in a way none have this semester.  I still have my geology lab and then I have a class at 6pm, but I'm thinking it's online this week.  I just have so much to do this week and its been off on such a bad foot already.  I have a rough draft for a paper due in 7 days, and other than some of the research, I've not even started writing it yet.  I have a test Thursday.  Oh, and I'm like 6,000 words behind on my NaNoWriMo novel.

I swear to you, I'm about to just give up.  So much is riding on my graduating this semester, which requires that I pass everything.  It's too much pressure.  I got accepted to grad school, but that will be revoked if I don't graduate with decent grades.  I got financial aid for the spring, which we really need, but I can't get that unless I'm still a grad student in the spring, which rides on my graduating with decent grades.  Everything, and I mean that, is riding on me getting done.  I don't feel like I can take the pressure, I feel like I might crack, and right now, I'm thinking crawling into bed and not coming back out until January sounds pretty good.   In January, I'll wish I hadn't.  I just have another 3 or so weeks to go until finals, I can hang in for another 3 weeks.  I really have no other choice.  I have to do what I have to do.  I only wish it were easier sometimes.

Friday cannot get here soon enough.


  1. Sorry you missed class! Focus on School and leave NaNoWriMo until December if you have to! Try not to get too stressed out and just do what you HAVE to do to graduate. That's the important thing. The finish line is in sight!

  2. I actually missed 2! lol. Today has just not been my day. I did get a bit of good news near the end of the day, namely the lab prof is doing me a rather large favor.

    On NaNoWriMo, I'd really, really like to finish in November. I want the free proof copy, and I'd like to be able to have finished this thing this year. I suppose we'll see. As of today, I'm even further behind. I'll be lucky to get any words in over the next few days as I try to write the 25 page paper and study for my history test. Blarg.

    Thanks for the encouragement, I really need it!

  3. I hope your day ended up better than it started. Don't let the finish line that is in your sights get in the way of your awesome journey.
    .-= Mayren´s last blog ..Grandpa Sparky on TV. :) =-.

  4. Thanks, Mayren. My did did end up a little better, but not much. I got good news in lab, which is nice, but otherwise, it was a bit bleh!

    Hope all is okay on your side.

  5. I've had days like that, they stink!! But I have learned that they are just a blip in move forward and keep your eye on the prize. It will all be worth it in the end. I love you!! Mom

    PS I got a letter yesterday from Kaiser and Dr Shin is RETIRING!! Ugh! my day wasn't so good either... You remember all the crap before I started seeing him? Anyway, I have to take my own advise and look forward and hope for the best...Maybe I will like the new dr they give me better.

  6. Oh my gosh!! What're you going to do about Doc Shin retiring? You should ask him for recommendations, I mean, surely someone will take over his files! That's no good at all. I think I might have cried.

    I love you, Mom. Thanks for the encouragement!

  7. I did cry and then I woke up this morning crying again...sounds silly...but I think you understand. I know that someone else will take his files, but, will that someone else be certified in Botox treatments and will he or she be good at it or will it be like Dr Swope all over again? Ugh! I am actually worried that Kaiser may send me back to Loma Linda for treatment if they don't have a certified person. I really hope not!! I may have to choose a different medicare program next year if this coming year isn't good. I have a friend who has been to a clinic in Phoenix that she says is really good and they take medicare plans, but not Kaiser... So we will see, but that would mean losing my other drs and that might not be good either...guess I need to wait and see or something. Love You!! Mom

  8. Ask Dr. Shin. See what he says about what you should do. You'll see him one more time before he retires, right? If not for your regular botox, maybe you can make an appointment? I love you, try not to worry too much.