Thursday, August 5, 2010

Wherein I Rant About Work...

Wow have I ever failed at blogging this summer!  There are things going on, but every time I sit down to try to write about them my whole person recoils in rebellion.  I think writing for work is killing my writing spirit.  I'm finding that while I like working from home, I don't know that I particluarly like the primary client I'm working for -- it's just so inane sometimes and I find myself thinking "if I have to write one more article about [enter stupid topic no one cares about], I'm going to scream!"  It's not a good sign.  I'm thinking that I might need to find another gig, or a few other gigs, that pay as well as this one does.  That's the trick right there, this one pays pretty good as freelance web content markets go.

Part of my problem has to be the changes they've made recently.  It's killing my grove. Since starting with the client I'm working for, I've written primarily home and garden titles. A few other things have slipped in there, but that's been my primary focus.  I enjoyed writing home and garden titles because that's where my interest lies.  It goes back to my childhood when I wanted to be an interior decorator when I grew up.  Since then, I've planted my feet firmly on the ground, where the only people who grow up and become interior decorators are people who can afford to be whimsical. I can't afford whimsy, but I like to indulge my imagination with titles about decorating.  That was, until the home and garden titles started drying up.  The system went from having several tens of thousands of titles, to almost nothing... over night.  So where did they go?  I, like many others, started to freak out.  This was my livelihood they were (are?) messing with!  Turns out they opened a new division by invitation only and put the home and garden titles in that division. The rest of us could apply, but they're only accepting a small number of the applicants.

The problem comes where I applied to write for this new division and they rejected my application after making me wait for nearly three weeks.  They said they were sorry, thanked me for applying, but that they couldn't accept my application because I didn't have the necessary experience. Okay, frankly, that's bullshit!  I've been writing home and garden titles for them for months and suddenly I don't have the experience.  What makes it worse is that a quick look at the forums have taught me that other people with absolutely no home and garden writing experience have gotten on without even having to ask for an invite.  One woman was so happy she got invited, saying she had never written a single home and garden title, but that she was going to give it a try.  Other people are getting accepted with less experience than I  have, less time working for the client, etc.  There're no freaking standards and it's infuriating!

It's also affecting my ability to work.  Not just because I can't find titles, but because I'm feeling discouraged. I can't do anything that requires even a scrap of creativity when I'm discouraged.  While this job is fairly technical, as in, do the job and follow the rules and churn out 400-500 words per piece, it also requires the part of my creative brain that houses my internal thesaurus. I have to creatively come up with synonyms so I don't say the same things over and over, but they also don't allow us to use words like "popular" that are subjective and opinion based.  It can be such a pain in the ass sometimes. Yes, I'm upset and I don't see that changing any time soon.

So, needless to say, my "let's see if I can make it as a freelance writer experiment" for the summer hasn't gone according to plans.  I did get on at Blissfully Domestic, which has made my summer so much better and I'm still writing for Suite101, which I love, but otherwise it's not gone great. I want to say it did, but I can't.  I want to say I'll do this for a living, and I hope it's true, but I can't say that.  I want to blame my lack of productivity on the fact that I'm having to work in the damn living room, but that's not the whole problem.  So many things are to blame and while some of them are my fault, others are simply not.

School will be back in on August 30th and I'm looking forward to going back.  For me, right now, that says a lot... especially to those who I've been talking to about school.  I'm ready to go back now, honestly, but I have to wait until the summers out... Boo!!