I'm here...

It's been a while since I've written anything of substance, hasn't it?  For the record, that nearly said "hasn' tit" but I caught it in time. Ha!  Okay, seriously though, I know I've been quite, but in my defense I've been remarkably busy and haven't had the energy to write.  I'm in the writing center right now, catching up with y'all during a lull.  I've been working, going to school, or doing homework nearly non-stop lately.  I'm exhausted, so rather than blogging I've found it easier to keep in touch via Facebook, where instant gratification is the name of the game.  I can post what's going on and go, which is much quicker and requires much less attention than blogging.

The fact that I'm blogging right now is a testament to both my love of blogging and my fortitude to put down one word more than I'm compelled to do for those activities that account for my real life activities.  Clearly, I love to hear myself speak (type?), why else would I be doing this right now when I could (should?) be doing homework?

So let's get on with it, shall we?  I'm sure you're tired of hearing how tired I am and, as a result, you're about to change the channel... so to speak.  Don't do that!  I'm working on getting on with it, I swear I am.  School's been great so far.  With one class online, one in the evenings and another that's something like a regular undergrad class, I'm feeling okay about my scholastic endeavors, so far.  Work is also great, I'm enjoying my new job, though I find it both nerve wracking and exhausting.  Although, it's probably only exhausting because I'm A) not used to working like this and B) I'm expending a hell of a lot of effort in being worried about my performance and the fact that I have to stand-up in front of people and speak on a (close to) day-to-day basis.  Maybe if I could chill and enjoy the experience of being challenged with something new, I'd be much better off.

I must say, I did have days early on (yes, I know it's still technically "early on" but I mean earlier on) where I nearly forgot that the reason I was doing this job was that I was a student.  I got so wrapped up in doing the job and doing it right that I forgot that homework was something I had to make time for.  I almost completely tuned out on the idea that I'm a student, not just a graduate assistant, and that meant doing the things a student must do.  Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't miss class or anything stupid like that, I just put up mental barriers between my job and my education, something I simply can't do given that the two are completely interrelated.  This job cannot exist without school, it simply can't, that's the name of the game.

And you know, to switch gears slightly for a moment, I've always had the feeling that if I worked outside the house, if I interacted more with others, I'd have more to blog about.  This person's silly antics, or that person's hilarious situation, but I'm finding it to be the opposite.  I do have a lot I could say, but I'm afraid to put my job in jeopardy by saying it.  When I attended the College of Graduate Studies Official GA Orientation last week they said that we're responsible for ethical behavior and I'm finding that talking about students, or whatever, could breach the gap between ethical and unethical, so I've decided I just can't do it.  All working outside the house has done is give me less time to say the things I might otherwise have had time to say.

One thing I feel I can say without concern is what I'm doing, so here goes.  I think most of you know my feeling about public speaking.  I'd rather stick a thousand needles in my spine than do one speech.  Well... it turns out that public speaking is a big part of my job.  I teach labs to basic writers and work in the University Writing Center.  The speaking part of teaching the labs is a no-brainer, but would you believe working in the WC means giving presentations?  Who knew?  Not me, but it's something I'm trying to adapt to without fear.  I'm a graduate student, doing a graduate assistantship, and this is a part of the job.  I figure the world is filled with obstacles to over come and this is just another of those.  You wouldn't believe how proud of myself I am when I pull myself up and get the job done, fear or no fear!

So, now that I've rambled on and on for too long (much longer than I intended to, in fact), I'm going to go.  My shift will be over in 20 minutes and I'd like to write another post, for a later date, about my awesome (sarcasm) experience today.  See y'all later!

2 comments

  1. I understand the work/blogging thing! There is SO little I can write about work because of patient confidentiality--I have to even be careful what I say to my husband! Good luck with the public speaking thing. I think it will be good for you to endure experiences that force you out of your comfort zone, even if it feels excruciating at the time...

    ReplyDelete
  2. There are moments when I feel so unsteady. I spend an immense amount of time feeling like I have no earthly idea what I'm doing, which is not a feeling I enjoy. I think, in the long run, the experience will be good for me, I agree.

    Good luck with your new job, Shannon, I'm sure you'll rock it. I hope it's more inside your comfort zone than this is for me.

    ReplyDelete