Friday, October 29, 2010

November's Mixed Blessings

With November looming large on the horizon, I'm staring a month of utter misery in the face.  I have so much to do, and I'm not sure how I'm going to actually get it all done. I have to write a proposal, take an exam, read four plays & three books, give two presentations, write four small response papers, and two long papers, all the while working -- in the writing center, observing classes, and teaching labs-- and going to class... oh, and did I mention I have a performance review on Tuesday?  To say I'm terrified about that is an understatement.  So yes, November spells doom, and if I make it through, I'm going to be ready for the Christmas break!  Hell, I'm already ready for Christmas break and it's still a month and a half off.  The only really good news is that the semester is on the down-slide.  Thank goodness!  In many ways, I utterly despise November.

So, in an attempt to make myself more insane, I've decided that I'm also going to give NaNoWriMo a shot again.  Call me crazy, but I just can't give it up!  Will I fail?  Most assuredly, but it's not about finishing, it's about giving it a go. It's about the ritual of it.  It's been a part of my November since 2004, I can hardly quit now.  It's something I do, something I enjoy immensely, and something I'm unlikely to give up any time soon. Do I feel like I'm piling on?  Oh yes.  Yes, yes.  Still, I can't see my way to skipping it this year.  I may not finish many things I start, but at least I don't give up on starting them. I'm persistent!

My novel in progress, as you may have noticed from the empty progress meter on my sidebar, is tentatively called Dark Hearts. It's going to be a fantasy novel about a slave girl in a world where Vampires are born, not made, and live openly like any other society.  I'm not 100% certain where I'll go with it, but I know who some of my characters are and I know what the setting is, so that's enough that I might start writing and see where it takes me.  Who knows if I'll finish, lord knows I haven't finished either Love's Daughter or Remembering Tomorrow but I'm confident that I'll actually finish them some day and Dark Hearts will be no different. Something to look forward to in the future, when I have a minute or two, perhaps after I've graduated? That would be lovely.

What you're seeing over yonder, on the right hand side of the text, is the concept book cover.  I create them for all novels in progress these days.  If you've taken a gander at the "Novel" page on this blog, you've probably seen the other two, also. The one thing they have in common is the hearts, because I love them and because in some way they all have meaning to what's going on in the books.  I feel like this cover, which is clearly for my benefit and not an actual cover that could ever get printed --especially considering I have no idea to whom I might attribute the art, nor pay for use-- captures the heart of what I'm trying to achieve with this book.  I don't know why, since it's not even begun, but for some reason, it inspires me. I'll take inspiration wherever I can get it, so this is a positive thing!

Ultimately, I keep telling myself that I'll get ahead or that it'll be okay.  Do I believe it?  Not really, but I'm trying to remember that if I take things one day at a time everything will work out.  Do I believe it?  Not really.  So what about you?  Doing NaNoWriMo?  If so, good luck.  If not, check it out, you might just appreciate the exercise in... determination!