Wednesday, October 27, 2010

WTB* Bubble...

I can hardly believe it's nearly November!  Time has just flown by, and as usual the things I've had to neglect to get everything done have been those things I enjoy most... like blogging.  I'm working the Writing Center hours in the library tonight (5-8 p.m.), which I only do once a month right now because the GA's rotate, and since it's really quiet I thought I'd get a word in while I have a chance.  I actually have a ton to say, so much in fact that there's no way I can fit it all in one post without it being brutally, unsympathetically long.  So, I'll break it up, though I have no idea where to even begin because it's been so long.  Chances are, things will be forgotten because there's no way I can recount so much in so little space.  Fortunately, most who read here with any regularity are my friends on Facebook or Twitter, so they get my updates in fits and spurts.  Okay, enough with the introduction already, I'm getting bored with myself (never a good sign!).

I'm actually enjoying the cooler weather that fall brings, even here in Texas where fall is an illusion we pretend behind because it's still 85 degrees at the beginning of November.  In all fairness, it has actually been in the 70's most days, making the facade of fall easier to swallow.  Though I have been enjoying it, I've been sick for a month which makes it a little bit more difficult.  I suppose you can't really call it sick, but I've been something. It started with a sinus infection and I felt horrible!  I was sick for several weeks but started to feel fine, with the exception of a nagging cough and persistent case of laryngitis.  Talking is the biggest part of my job, so not being able to speak is a real bummer.  Matt finally insisted that I go to the doctor, which I did, and they said that I wasn't sick --something I knew-- but rather that I was suffering from some sort of allergic reaction.  Unhappily I started taking Allegra and Tessalon (cough meds), but the fact is, the allergy could be to absolutely anything.  I started to wonder how I might narrow it down, after all, I have a cat and dog, my husband smokes, the pollen count's extraordinarily high thanks to the lack of rain, my house is dusty, the offices I work in are dusty, the classrooms are dusty, I'm allergic to dozens of foods, and every time I get in the shower I sneeze.  Not good, at all.

The first thing the doctor asked me was whether or not I smoked.  I told her no, but that my husband (and everyone in my life) does. She said, rather rudely, that I smelled like smoke (bitchy old woman!) and I should tell my husband to smoke outside.  With that exchange in mind, I asked him if he wouldn't mind doing so.  Guess what, I started to get better.  This is both good and bad, since I really feel awkward asking him to smoke outside forever.  He helps to pay the bills, it's his house too, and I knew he was a smoker,and that I was allergic to smoke, when I married him.  So how could I now make him smoke outside?  It was a real problem for me, especially since he sort of made me miserable about having to go outside to smoke.  He'd make a big deal about how annoying it was every time he had to go out and it made me feel about an inch tall.  It's not my fault that I'm sick and suddenly developing a horrible allergy to something I've been living with for years, but it's not his either.  Still, he did it, begrudgingly and though I felt bad, I could speak again and wasn't coughing nearly as much.

Fast forward to this last weekend.  It was raining on Saturday (finally!!) and since we don't have a patio I couldn't very well tell him he had to go outside into the rain to smoke, so I thought it might be okay for him smoke inside.  By the time the day was winding down, I had almost no voice again and I was coughing like crazy.  More than that, it hurt to use the breath it took to speak. My chest literally hurt with the effort to force breath up and out.  Sunday, the sun was shining, but he continued to smoke inside and I continued to cough and my voice sounded terrible!  So, surprise, surprise, it has to be the smoke I'm having a reaction to.  In addition to a horrible allergy reaction, I think I'm developing asthma.   This is bad, especially since everyone in my life smokes.

Sadly, I'm not sure what to do about it.  There has to be some happy medium.  Matt can't smoke outside forever, but he can't smoke inside either because it makes me sick. He smokes inside when I'm out, or when I'm sleeping, and that seems to be okay, but I think the lingering bit of nagging yuck that keeps me coughing is probably a result of being in an environment where smoke has permeated everything.  It's also pretty depressing because all my friends are smokers and I can't very well ask them not to smoke around me just because my body  has decided to do something completely annoying.

Take for example last night, when I went out to coffee with two of my girlfriends after class.  I woke up this morning coughing like crazy, my voice cracking. Both of them smoke.  I knew they smoked, this is nothing new, and going out was my suggestion because I don't see them nearly enough. So, I'm frustrated and have no idea how to approach an answer that will work for everyone.  I can't very well live in a bubble, where no one smokes and the environment is filtered.  I want to be able to do the things I've always done and hang out with friends the way I always have, without having to worry about whether or not their cigarette smoke is going to make me sick.

On second thought, maybe I should look into a bubble.

Alright, enough complaining.  I didn't expect this post to turn into a pity party or a bitchfest, so I'm going to sign off for now. If, however, y'all have any creative solutions to my problem, please feel free to make suggestions.  I welcome any ideas.

* "WTB" means "Want to Buy" in WoW lingo.