Saturday, January 22, 2011

Dream a Little Dream of... Rocks?!

Something you may not know about me, even if you've known me a long time, is that I've been having the same dream since I was five years old. Several times a week, in fact. I was actually reminded about it, or rather about how abnormal it actually is to have the same dream over and over, without deviation, for 27 years, while reading Jodi's blog yesterday. I doubt her intention was to make me feel strange, but she mentioned she's having dreams about rocks, which immediately called my own rocky dream to mind. I nearly gave her the whole rocky (ha!) story in her comment box, but decided that it might just be enough to warrant an entry all its own and besides, Jodi asked me to divulge the details, so there you go.

Understanding what's going on actually requires a little bit of background, so here goes. I grew-up in the Mojave desert in Southern California which is, as the name implies, a desert.  Not just a desert, but one with a lovely desert landscape. Way out in the boonies, which is probably not actually the boonies anymore, where Victorville turns to Apple Valley, there's a highway (Highway18) that winds around amid a cluster of rocky hills, climbing up out of Victorville and dipping down into Apple Valley. The slightly winding drive out there is actually terrifying, or it was for me when I was a little girl... cars wooshing around the curves at 60 miles an hour, not to mention, I'm afraid of heights.

Okay, you know, Google Streetview can actually do me one better...

You can click those pictures to see them better. The first one is of the hills right off the highway, the second is too, but it shows the guardrail where it drops off into a deep ravine. You can't tell from the picture, but that drop off is pretty steep. This is the setting of my dream, it's a place that's actually called Happy Trails Highway now, but wasn't when I was little. It's called that because Roy Rodgers and Dale Evans used to live, and are now burried, out in Apple Valley. A bit off topic, but yeah, background... though my dream has nothing to do with Roy or Dale. I digress.

So, the dream begins with me climbing those rocks all the way to the top. I'm not afraid, I don't actually feel anything emotionally, I just climb. In the dream, I'm always the right age. So, when I was five, in my dream I'd be five. Now that I'm 32, in my dream, I'm in my 30's. Anyway, the dreams begins with me on the highway side of the rocks, where the highway is stark black asphalt with bright, freshly painted stripes. I climb to the top, and when I get all the way up there, I walk out to the back of the rocks, where it drops off. I always think, in my dream, how strange it is that I'm doing it, especially considering how terrified of heights I am, but I don't experience the feelings that come with marveling at something, or being afraid. I'm just blank.

I gaze down into the valley and rather than seeing the desert landscape, or the apartment complexes I know are there, in the immediate distance, I see boiling, molten red lava. I look up, slowly, into a pitch black sky, no stars, no moon, nothing, and I'm not afraid or even curious. I'm still just blank, it doesn't seem at all unusual to me. Following the sky to the horizon, I watch the place the black sky joins the red horizon for a long minute. Then, I look down and notice how remarkably white the rocks are beneath my feet. No graffiti, nothing, just stark white stone. Noting my surroundings, I nod and take a step forward, off the rocks, falling into the hot magma below.

I feel a surge of pain, but nothing comparable to what my logical mind knows magma should feel like. It's momentary and then it's gone and I sink beneath the surface of the liquid, closing my eyes, I reappear on the highway side of the rocks and begin to climb again. I feel nothing about having jumped, I know with certainty that I'll jump again, and I know that when I do, I'll reappear there again. It's a cycle, unbreakable, but rather than feeling a sense of hopelessness at eternally throwing myself from the rocks, I just go about the task and the dream repeats until I wake up. Over and over, same thing, same emotionless response.

When I was a little girl, the dream use to scare me. Now that I'm all grown up, and have been having it for 27 years, I don't feel the fear anymore. It's strange because, no matter how settled I am, I still have it. The frequency doesn't fluxuate, except when I'm having a really, really bad time in my life. In those cases, when I'm really distressed, I'll have it 4 or 5 times a week, rather than the usual 2 or 3 times a week. When I'm not sleeping well, or at all, I have it less frequently, but I think that has to do with my inability to reach REM sleep. No sleep, no dream, which has been my problem lately.

I read over some things about dreams, but nothing seems to be suitable for this particular dream. Everything I've read says that rocks are symbolic of security, but that just seems wrong in this case. There're simply too many elements with the rocks, the lava, the black sky, the stark contrasting colors, the emotionless responses; I have no idea what to make of it. After all of these years, I figure I'll just not try and let my subconscious go on being obnoxious as long as it thinks it needs be.

So, there you have it, my rocks dream, much more long winded than I thought it would be and with pictures, too!  Sweet dreams!!


  1. Weird - I had a dream last night that me and a group of people were pushing huge rocks up a hill. Nothing to do with teh fact that I have an asignment due next week! AHH!

  2. Seems like rocks dreams are going around!! If I were dreaming about pushing rocks uphill, I'd have to attribute it to grad school, too. LOL. Good luck with your assignment!

  3. The way you described this dream was so thick with imagery; I really could see every single scene you described. I love looking at those ever-so-familiar pictures right off of Happy Trails. I didn't even know these existed on google-images...they're awesome. It's amazing that you have been having this same dream since you were five years old. I have had reoccuring dreams myself, but none that ever lasted longer than maybe a five year span, and definitely none as rich with detail.

    Thanks for sharing this Kristyn!

  4. The detail comes from seeing it over and over again, I think. Glad to share, it's personal, but not so personal that I wouldn't blog about it!

    The pictures came from Google Street-view! How cool that they have that stuff, right?! I just looked up the area I was talking about on Google maps, then I clicked the little links to navigate the different pictures, you can also get a satellite image of the whole area, too. It's so neat to be able to see home, even this far away!

  5. Whoa. I thought my dreams were out there. Very few of mine are recurring though, just bizarre. As a child I had a short lived recurring nightmare about giant slugs chasing me.

    My only other recurring dream I have had since I was very young and still have sometimes. It's the one where I'm flying. Not in plane, not with wings, but I'm walking along and then I start to jog and then to run and then I'm off the ground and I'm flying around. Sort of like superman only not quite the same. In the dream it's always pure fun and freedom. I love that dream.

    I have to wonder if your dream could have something to do with the cycle of life. Maybe your sub conscience remembers the process of reincarnation. Nothing to fear or dread, just the cycle with a moment of clarity to reflect and then the cycle repeats. I know you don't believe in reincarnation but still...

  6. That's pretty interesting, Amanda. I wish I could dream about something as freeing as flying. I don't think I ever have, in my whole life, dreamt of flying. Although, like you, I have dreamt of being chased by large rodents/animals/etc.

    You're right, I don't believe in reincarnation, but I do believe in the cycle of life. I don't know if that explains it, but that's about the most logical explanation I've ever heard.

  7. Kristyn, would you mind me bringing this dream to my dream analysis class? With no identifiable information, so it will remain annonymous...She has encouraged us to bring in our own dreams and the dreams of others, and this would be a great one to bring in...

  8. Not at all, Shannon! It's find by me if you want to take it in. Let me know what they say! LOL. Having the same dream for like decades is, from what I can tell, really strange!

  9. [...] Dream a Little Dream of… Rocks?! So, I figure I'll just not try and let my subconscious go on being obnoxious as long as it thinks it needs be. So, there you have it, my rocks dream, much more long winded than I thought it would be and with pictures, too! Sweet dreams [...]