Hesitant, Hopeful

Well, you've probably been able to guess, or maybe you saw on Facebook, that we got our pipes fixed. What an ordeal!  No water for four days, followed by gushing water under the house, the no water again. Fortunately, the plumber came out on Saturday night, much earlier than expected, and got them fixed in a bit less than an hour. It wasn't as expensive as it could have been, so that's good at least -- he said he had several customers who were going to have to have their entire houses repiped, now that's insane! Since then, I've been in such a funk, suffering major pity party syndrome (okay, I know that's not a real syndrome, but it works). It just seems like nothing's going right this year. I just want something to go right. Is that too much to ask? So far, yes.

Anyway, we're back to work and school this week after having four days off last week (Tuesday - Friday) due to ice and snow. The conditions here were horrible, even though they don't look so bad in my pictures.  So far, it's been fine. Teaching this semester has meant that I'm constantly unsettled. It's not easy for me, as you probably know, to stand up in front of people. Teaching is an exercise in pushing my limits, but you know, as little as I thought I'd ever say this, I think I'm enjoying it. Yeah, seeing that in black and white is making me feel awkward. That's one of those admissions that one likes to keep to themselves... though that isn't entirely accurate, is it, since I just shared it with you. Now, I don't think I could ever teach children, but I think I would enjoy teaching on the college level -- community college would be ideal, both for my education and my comfort zone. This is probably going to sound so silly, and a little sappy, but getting up in front of people every day (except Thursdays, awesome, gracious, restful Thursdays) has made me feel like I'm stronger than I thought I was. Yeah, see, sappy. I don't care, it's the truth and this is my blog, so I can sound as sappy as I want here. Don't judge me.

My boss, who is a really nice woman and a great teacher, has been giving me some pointers so I can improve, but says that I'm doing a good job! It's always nice to have positive feedback, with tips. I've never taught anyone before, never even tutored unless you count last semester's labs and working in the writing center. So, I have zero idea how to do it. It's much harder than it looks, or at least it is for me, but I'm learning. I feel like I get more and more comfortable every day, which is awesome.  By the end of the semester, I'll be a pro! Ha! Okay, maybe not a pro, but you get the idea. This semester has been amazing practice and a great learning experience, which I will need because next semester (fall 2011) I'll be teaching English 111, the first for-credit comp course, the one every major is required to take. I'm so excited, and nervous, about that!

Other than work, school's going okay. The snow last week meant one of my classes, which is normally Wednesday nights from 6-9pm, was cancelled. It's kind of a bummer, actually, because I really like that class!  My professor is fantastic, I really like him and enjoy his lectures and our class discussion, so it's always a little bit depressing to miss that class. He gave us a revised schedule, which includes pushing everything back a week all the way to the end of the semester.  Now, it's supposed to snow again tomorrow!  I hope it snows, of course, but I'm a little bummed about potentially missing class again. I'm not sure what he'll have to do to compensate for another week's absences, we'll see.

I had my second directed reading's meeting today and it was really productive. I have so much to think about before we can meet again. I'm a little bit nervous because I have so many directions, but what I need to do is chose one and reign it in. She gave me some suggestions, so I need to think them through, but I think the ideas she gave me are both amazing help in the guidance department. I think my biggest problem is that I have no idea how to narrow it down into a topic (Shannon, I need advice... help!! lol). The fact that I have to do something that's never been done is so, so overwhelming! I know I need to research the literature, and what's being said about it, so I have a good idea what's being done, but my goodness... it's absolutely, completely, and totally mind-boggling! I seriously have moments where I feel like I'm not... I was going to say not smart enough, but I'm definitely smart enough... organized enough for this! It's amazing anyone does this. Hats off to everyone who's done this before me, it's not easy.

Anyway, enough rambling. Instead of trying to figure out how to finish this up, I'm just going to share this with you (even though it has nothing to do with this post at all, I'm tricky like that)...



I love this song, not to mention the amazing video. Matt loves it too, which is what brought it to my attention this particular night. I've watched it several times, such beautiful imagery!

Good night.