Hesitant, Hopeful

I went to the eye doctor with Matt today. He's been complaining for a while that he needed to go, but two days ago Galileo made certain that he went sooner rather than later. While Matt was sleeping, Gali batted his glasses off of his desk and onto the floor. When Matt woke up and came stumbling into the living room, he stepped square on them. Fantastic, stupid cat. Matt taped them back together and, I swear, I should have taken a picture as it was absolutely hilarious! Anyway, Matt's been sans the glasses for two days now and it's making him cranky, not to mention making it impossible for him to get things done. So, off to the doc we went today.

We went to a new doc because they take our CareCredit, which helped to ease the strain of forking over $300 for the exam and new glasses. Why seeing needs be so expensive, I will never understand. Anyway, he said the doc was nice and that I should go there, even though they're $35 more expensive than the place I usually go. Anyway, while I waited for him to get done, I turned my Kindle on, thinking I could get some reading in (I'm currently reading Aimee Carter's The Goddess Test), but no such luck.

You see, there was a woman in the waiting room with a two year old and that kid made it completely impossible to focus on anything. He was sprinting around the waiting area and glasses shop sections, screaming at the top of his lungs.  He started taking pamphlets and fold out displays and throwing them all over the ground. He took off one of his shoes, started beating on the glass door, and then sprinted into the back office when the door was open. Meanwhile, he incompetent mother giggled at his misbehavior and chatted on her cell phone. Then, rather than punishing the little one for being naughty, she offered him a treat when they got home. What is wrong with people?

I swear to you, I wanted to scoop that kid up and spank him. Unfortunately, as we know from that news story about the old man who spanked that woman's brat in the Wal-Mart, spanking other people's kids isn't socially acceptable. So much for it taking a village, eh? Someone, his mother, should have made the kid behave rather than snickering like an idiot at his naughtiness... or the people who worked there should have told her he needed to be attended. I know he was only two, and being a two year old, but two is old enough to be made to mind. Rather than talking on the phone, she should have been, oh, I don't know, watching him. I wanted to smack her, hard. Seriously, if she didn't have respect for her self or the establishment, she should have at least tried to respect the other people who were forced to share a waiting room with her little monster!

I know I don't have a huge tolerance for little kids, but even someone who does would have had trouble stomaching this kid. I'm starting to think that half of my intolerance for kids is their ridiculous parents--after all, it was 1:30 in the afternoon, maybe the kid needed a nap, he was a toddler. Or, here's a novel idea, hire a babysitter when you need to go to the doctor. I know it's expensive, but he had one for her other son (overheard it on the phone call she was chatting to when she should have been watching her toddler) so why not the little one, too? Whatever, when you have kids you take responsibility for the cost involved in raising them, which I understand is considerable, but society shouldn't have to pay for the incompetence of "stay at home mommies" who would rather be doing anything but actually being a parent.

Okay, rant off. Anyway, when he was done we made our escape from the bimbo mommy and her living terror kid. The receptionist was reluctant to give us Matt's prescription. I had to almost insist to get her to give it to us. She was just going to let us leave without it. They want us to buy their glasses, but they're like $350 for frames, never mind the lenses which are considerable. Who can afford that? People who can afford to get babysitters for their toddlers, that's who. Not us. We went to Wal-Mart where he picked out a pair of frames and we got things going. They said it could be as much as a week to get them back, particularly because Monday is a holiday. Great. So, Matt's blind until then and I have to do all the driving. I don't enjoy driving and Matt's not a great passenger because he hates my driving. So, we're not going anywhere until he gets his glasses!

I hope you're having a better day than I am. For now, I'm off to settle in with my kindle and work on that book I was trying to read with the minions of pandemonium flitting around me...er... the eye docs office, that is.

This is like the, oh, third or fourth time I've sat down to write something here. I'm off to a much better start than I was before, at least I have something, even if just to say that I had nothing before. I've noticed that when I'm not in school, or working, and have very little that I must do, I have less to talk about it.  It stands to reason, of course, that that would be the case, but that doesn't mean I like it. I'm a talkative person, that extends to blogging as well, so I feel like I should always have something to say. Not so, clearly.

My vacation has been in full swing for a whole week now, and I'm loving it. I didn't think I was going to make it to summer, but here we are. There are moments when I feel like I should be doing something, when I can't quite rest or settle down for the feeling that I'm wasting precious moments, but it's not true. I don't have anything I absolutely must do right now. Soon, I will, but for now, I don't. Granted, I could be studying for the comps and working on my thesis, but I have three months to do all of that. Right now, I'm just trying to wind down from the busiest semester I've ever had.

Speaking of my thesis, I met with my graduate committee chair on Tuesday, we spent almost two hours together, and got my thesis proposal all signed and ready to go... at least by the two of us. Then it would need signatures from Dr. C, Dr. S, Dr. B, and then the dean of the graduate college, Dr. J. Lots and lots of signatures on that one little form, but we got it done. Once my thesis proposal is approved, and I don't know where it is right in the process of all of those signatures right now, I'll be able to talk more about what I'm doing... I think. I still feel leery, but I think that's to be expected. Once it's accepted, it's set in stone, so less worries.

Then there's the comps. They got moved up. I talked to Dr. Y about the fact that the graduate college expects you to have comps on file before taking your first thesis hours. Since my first thesis hours start in August, taking the comps in December wasn't going to work.  So, we moved them to August. They're now August 15th and August 19th. I'm absolutely petrified. I hope I do okay, but I need to study all summer. I have my study list narrowed down to about 20 works, so it's not as bad as it could be.

The last thing on the agenda right now is my other blog... A Turn of Page. I've been writing over there, fairly regularly. I moved it back to blogger, where strangely I felt like I have more control over what I'm doing with my design. If you don't see me around here, and I will be from time to time, and you're dying to read what I'm writing (ha!) that's where I'll be.

So, last weekend I did this...


Both dyed my hair red and cut my own bangs. I usually don't put scissors to my own hair, but this time it was in order. I need a haircut and I just couldn't stand waiting another minute to get one. So, I cut my bangs. Matt likes the color, but I'm still unsure about it, even though I've gotten an abundance of compliments about it -- and yes, I've made adjustments to the picture using Picnik, but the color of my hair is very true to it's actual shade.  Dr. Y even said I looked French, which she had to qualify with the information that in France it is (or was?) a fad to dye your hair an unnatural shade of red. She also said it was "fun." Both things I consider compliments. Overall the feedback's been good, but I'm still not entirely sure.

Matt wasn't terribly happy that I cut my bangs, however. It seems that no matter what I do, he's never 100% happy with what I do with my hair. When I came out of the bathroom a redhead with newly cut bangs he said, "I like the color" and when I remarked on his lack of a remark about the bangs he said, "I'm not a bangs person" as though that should explain everything. It made me upset, actually, because he never use to be unhappy with my hair as long as it wasn't short. Now, he's unhappy when I cut my bangs, even though I'm letting the rest of my hair grow out and it seems like he's getting more disgruntled/controlling about my hair.

Speaking of which. The color I used to dye my hair was Light Intense Auburn by Garnier Nutrisse (it's number R3).  As much as I'm grappling to like the color, and it's growing on me, I do not recommend this dye to anyone. I can't speak to the other colors, but this one is insanely hard to get out. I don't mean the color, I mean the dye itself. Like any dye, the instructions say to rinse your hair until the water runs clear and then use the conditioner. I was in there until the water was nearly cold, about a half an hour, trying to get the water to rinse clear and it still wouldn't.  Since then, and mind you it's been a full 7 days, I've washed my hair twice a day and it's still running slightly red. When I shampoo the foam is still coming away pink, the pool of water around my feet in the bottom of the shower is still tinged pink. Fourteen washings, it's still tinged pink. That's insane!  It shouldn't be this difficult to wash the dye out, but it is. I've never had this problem with any other brand of hair color. I've done red, from other brands, and it's never been like this. I can only guess, then, that it's the brand. Therefore, I don't plan to use it again and I don't recommend it to anyone. When it comes time to dye my roots in 6 to 8 weeks, I'm going to dye my hair a darker auburn brown. That way, it's more true to my natural color so that when I go back to work in the fall I look professional. I will not, however, be using this brand again, regardless of the color, it's simply too hard to work with.

Anyway, there you have it. I think I'm starting to like it more than I did at first, but I don't think it'll ever grow on me. Of all times to come out exactly like the box, sheesh!

Mercifully, the semester is over!  All of my finals are taken, my thesis proposal is written (though we're still working on corrections), and work is done for the semester. Nothing left to do but wait for grades to be available, which will be on Tuesday morning, at the very latest.  Oh, and I have a meeting with my committee chair, Dr. Y, on Tuesday afternoon. That's it! Done, finito, fin, the end!  It could not have come soon enough. It's been a really hard semester. I think, though, that I managed it with more grace than I believed I could muster and more skill than I thought I had.  I should, if I calculated everything correctly, make all A's this semester... even in my Teaching of Composition course, which was a very though class. Oh, who am I kidding, so far grad school has been nothing but a long string of very though classes.  When that A comes, I don't think I'll ever feel better about having earned one. This class was especially tough!

Oh, also, as of Thursday afternoon, Matt is completely done with his BA... which is actually a BS, but whatever. He's finished with his undergraduate education and I could not be happier about it!!  Of course, we have to wait for final grades to come in, but I'm sure he passed everything. He's ridiculously smart and I'm so happy for him.  Now it's just me and we can move home!  I can't wait.

Well, after a hectic five or six days, things are finally getting to the point of slowing down a bit. When this last weekend came, I literally had a 12-15 page paper, a 4+ page response paper, and a 3-4 page final to write and very little time to get them all done. I literally wrote 23 pages this last weekend, from Saturday to Tuesday. I'm exhausted! Fortunately, as of tonight, all of my classwork is turned in for the semester. Everything's out of my hands now, except one final.  So, I have that one final, next Wednesday, and I'm done with my classes for the semester--I also taught my last class this past Monday (May 2nd), so that's done.

Otherwise, all I have left is 6 more days of working in the writing center and some thesis proposal corrections to make. Oh, and I have two meetings tomorrow afternoon and have agreed to spend Friday night proctoring a final from 6:30-9:00 p.m. for another of the comp instructors.  Thank goodness this semester is nearly over. I don't think I've ever been, or will ever be, this happy to see a semester go again (I say that now!). It's just been exhausting, on every possible level, but there is a silver lining.

You see, this is my last semester of coursework. After this, it's internship and thesis only. No more going to classes, no more paper writing (unless you count the thesis), no more essay exams (unless you count the comps), no more presentations (unless you count the thesis defense and teaching classes).  No more dealing with problematic classmates.  It's all self-directed study from now on and I could not be happier about that fact. I'll have meetings once a week for one hour, and once every few weeks for my thesis, but that's nothing. Otherwise, I'll teach class for six hours a week, hold office hours for like four hours a week, and work on my thesis... oh, and grade papers, I'll have 50 students!

Another silver lining might be that I've learned more this semester, on a professional level, than any semester before. The assistantship has been amazing, I've learned to teach and grade college level comp (though it's still, and will forever be, a learning process).  I've learned how to deal with students and have read much theoretical scholarship about composition pedagogy. I've designed both a CV and a teaching philosophy statement. It's been a fantastic semester for my professional development and I'm pleased with the outcome thus far.

Anyway, enough of that. I'm about to be off, but before I go I wanted to share the pictures from my Sigma Tau Delta induction with you. Understand that I'm fairly hesitant. I don't think I look very good in the pictures and am feeling very self-conscious about my weight. Sometimes, seeing yourself from the outside, the way others see you, is heartbreaking. I'm trying to be positive about it, but it's not easy. So here they are (you can click them larger if you're dying to see them full size)...



As uncertain as I am to share them, I thought I'd do so so that my mother (and anyone else who might care) can see them. If they've made me realize anything it's that I need a haircut/dye and I need to go on a diet (which I plan to do very soon).

On that note, good night!