Monday, June 20, 2011

Pretty Optimist...Nah.

I jokingly told Matt the other day that if I had too many more gushy, happy days that I was going to have to change this blog's name to "Pretty Optimist." He thought that was quite hilarious, actually, and said I should share that with y'all. So, there it is. Fortunately for this blog, and for my reputation as somewhat cynical (*cough*), I've been feeling pretty unsettled lately, so it's back to being my good ol' ungushy self.  Bet you're glad about that, eh? I know I am.  Being terribly happy all the time isn't good for my skin... smiling is giving me lines.

Actually, I think I got those lines from work over the last year. I had a job that required that I smile and be friendly. Now don't get me wrong, I have no problem smiling and being friendly... when I feel happy and friendly. Unfortunately, that wasn't always the case, but working with people means presenting tact you don't always feel. Most days were fine, but on the days when I wanted to pull my hair out, smiling became a chore that was almost insurmountable. Who knew that forcing the muscles in your face into an unnatural smile, that felt more like a grimace wrought from slow torture, could be so much work?! Not me, but then I've never worked much in customer service-type work. Believe it or not, tutoring can be as much customer service as it is teaching/learning. It takes a special kind of person to be a tutor and they're not nearly appreciated enough.

Anyway, enough of that. I cannot believe that it's nearly July; where has the summer gone?! I was sitting here this morning, thinking about all I have to do over what's left of the summer between now and my comps--which are only about 9 weeks 7 weeks from now (less time than I thought... time to panic!!)--and I'm starting to feel a little bit panicky and overwhelmed. Like I'm not going to be able to get it all done. It's not a good feeling, particularly because I have to have the first chapter of my thesis written and turned in by July 15th, only three weeks from now.  When that thing is done and turned in for revisions, we're going to go see the final installment of Harry Potter as a reward! Come July 15, there will be exactly one month until my first comps session. Ugh, so scared!!

Yeah, terrified actually.

So, until then I have lots of reading and studying to keep me occupied. I'm trying not to freak out, but I still have so much reading to do and I'm wondering if I'll have enough time to actually get it all done. I really shouldn't have procrastinated so long... really. Which brings me to my next point, I think. By way of procrastination, and because I heard somewhere that if you write down your goals you're more likely to actually meet them, I made a new page for this blog: The Move!! Not terribly cleverly named, but appropriate nonetheless, it's a page that suggests everything we have to do between now and 11 months from now--I set our move date for May 22nd-25th!! Seeing it all written down like that is actually making me nervous about the logistics of a long move. So, if you have any advice about pulling off a long move without complications, please, please share it with me because I'm sort of freaking out a little bit.

We've discussed, somewhat off hand at the moment, the prospect that one of us go to California next April (near the end of the month, I imagine) to help look for a rental. Since I'll be teaching classes, preparing to defend my thesis, grading papers, and packing my tail off, it'll have to be Matt who goes. The idea is that he'd fly out there, spend a week looking for a place with the help of my mom and sister, and if he found one he could fill out the paperwork and get the ball rolling. My mom likes the idea, but Matt's not completely convinced it's necessary. He says he doesn't care what the place we rent looks like (strike one), that it's only a rental (strike two), and that as long as it has walls and a roof he's happy (strike three). The man's insufferable! I mean, of course he cares if we live in a bad neighborhood, move into a place infested by vermin and/or hobos, but he doesn't seem to have much of an opinion otherwise.  I, on the other hand, care very much, but I won't be able to go. So, it could come quite close to being a pointless trip, except that mom and Candi are helping us, so I feel like we should help, too, and Matt could do the paperwork. Silly man! Moving to a place sight unseen, or that we've only seen in pictures, scares me.

So anyway, that's what's going on here. Not a whole lot, but then that's not terribly surprising. I'm having some other issues, but nothing I can/want to talk about here, so I'll pass on those. I hope everyone else is having a lovely end of June and that your summer's been nice. For now, I'm off to get some reading/studying done. Adieu.