Bye Bye Summer

Well, the summer is officially over and school's back in. Everything's been so busy since yesterday, I didn't have time to write until now, when it's nearly bedtime here. I'm watching Priest, rather than going to sleep, and figured now would be as good at time as any to update. There have been so many meetings, so much to do, and so little time to do it all. So here goes.

I think I mentioned that I passed my comps. By the time I found out, everything was just about back in full swing, so I really didn't have much time to worry over the coming semester and what it would mean to have my own classes. It was actually Sunday night before I realized that in one day's time, I would be in the classroom, and though I worried over it a little bit, my nerves weren't nearly what I felt like they should have been. I only realized I was worried at all when I felt myself being nasty to Matt. Poor guy, he takes it so well and there's no good reason to be ugly to him when he wasn't the source of my angst.

Monday flew by in the blink of an eye. Standing up there, in front of my classes, it wasn't so tough. I found I'm pretty okay with it, which is a good sign. It means I'm becoming desensitized to speaking in front of crowds... finally. Amen. I still feel a twinge of anxiety, but nothing compared with the crippling fear I felt a few years ago. This job has been great for my psyche, even if it has been torturous to face that particular fear. I've done it and I've felt good about it. Now, I know I can do it and trust myself not to falter when I don't have any choice but to speak.

Today, I had Internship meetings. Internship is the class that gives me credit for teaching the classes. It's just myself, my friend, and our professor, so it's a small gathering, but we have a bit of work for that class, too. Papers, discussion boards, the like. After the meeting I went shopping!!  I got three new blouses, the dye and developer for my hair, and a video game for Matt (he loves Madden!!). All in all, it's been a pretty good day. Busy, but tomorrow will be the more so.

Tomorrow, I get to meet with my committee chair in the afternoon to discuss my comps. She's going to tell me where I did really well, where not so well, and how I might adapt some of the information for my thesis. It should be an interesting meeting, and one I'm really looking forward to. That is, after I've conducted my classes and done my office hours. Office hours have so far been uneventful, but they give me time to work on my thesis (assuming I can focus on that and stop chatting with friends the whole time), so I'm grateful. I'm sure as the semester progresses, I'll get more students during office hours, but so far, it has been very quiet.

I have a few other things, but I don't really feel like talking about them until I have more information. I apologize for the scattered, somewhat nonsensical nature of this entry, I'm exhausted already and it's only Tuesday! off to finish watching the movie--Priest is vampires before bedtime--then it's sleep. Goodnight!

2 comments

  1. Glad you're getting over your public speaking fear! I don't know why it never bothered me so much. Glad it's bothering you less!

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  2. I used to be scared to speak in public, but now I actually enjoy it. I sort of get this feeling of narcissism, like, "Hey, check it out, everyone is looking at ME and listening to ME." Wow. Evidently I'm an attention whore.

    Glad it's all working out for you!

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