Alone, Alone...

I swear, I feel a little bit pathetic right now. It's 9pm and I'm sitting here, alone, staring at my computer. The TV's off, the only sound is the hum of the air conditioner and the clicks of the keyboard, and I really, really wish Matt would come home. He went out to eat with his dad, and then to the football game at Tarleton, and I really miss him. How sad, right? He's only been gone like, oh, three and a half hours, and I really want him to come home. What's worse, there's absolutely no reason I should feel like this, I see him all of the time.

I think maybe the problem is that since school started back, on Monday, I've been so busy that I've not seen him as much as I'm used to. Over the summer, since he works from home, I saw him all of the time. Every day, in fact, and let me just tell you, that got a little bit tedious. I love him, and I like spending time with him, but 24/7 for three months is too much for any couple, us included. Now, school's back in and I'm spending between 6 and 10 hours a day at Tarleton, with the exception of today, and I want to spend what little time I do have with him.

Not that we really do anything together, mind you. When he's here, he's either sleeping, working, or playing video games... with the exception of Saturday, when we game together--we're playing 4e D&D right now and we're having a lot of fun with it.  Okay, not literally right now, but you know what I mean. I guess I just like him to be here, even if we're not doing anything together, specifically. I like to be able to turn and say, "hey honey..." whatever comes to mind. Most of the time he even answers. Sadly, I don't even like to be alone, alone. I like to be alone, together. If he's here, and leaving me alone, that's fine. If he's not here, and I'm completely alone, I go a little stir crazy. I would make the worst single person, ever.

Anyway, now that I've whined for ten minutes about him being away, and he's still not home, I think I'll go take a shower and try to ease down from my day off. Rather than laying around all day, or only working on my thesis like I had planned, I spent the day doing every little bit of busy work I could find (except the dishes *shudder*). I cleaned out the car, which really needed it, I cleaned off my desk, I washed clothes for Matt, I went out to lunch, you see the pattern. I did get my thesis worked on, and I got most of the major changes made (go me!), but not as early as I had intended. All of that, together with the air conditioner that has been blowing right on me all day, has gotten my arm to bothering me. It could also be those things and the fact that I was carting around a 25 lb. bag on that arm yesterday. Clearly, I don't have the slightest common sense when it comes to trying to heal from an injury, particularly one on my dominant arm.

Okay, okay, I said I was going so I am. The weekend cannot come soon enough, just one day to go! Man, I hope Matt comes home soon. Good night.

2 comments

  1. I get that like sometimes, when Marc is gone and it's only for a few hours but it feels like forever, I sulk and get a little grumpy. Most times though I am glad he leaves lol. When he has his RPG night once a month it's like get out, get out, get out! Then I sit down, have wine and put a crappy movie on :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello Kris,

    The feeling of being alone really sometimes overwhelm us. And I'm glad that you share it with us (your reader). Since at least we can say that we have in some point feel the same loneliness sometimes.

    Cheers
    Nicole

    ReplyDelete