Sunday, January 15, 2012

Smaller in 2012

I pulled a black, mid-calf length pencil skirt out of a pile of clothes last night and pulled it on. What's remarkable about this is that (a) I don't remember buying the skirt, (b) it still had it's original tags on it, and (c) it's two sizes smaller than all of the rest of my clothes. The third point is the most significant, the skirt is two sizes smaller than everything else I own. Now don't get me wrong, it could be that the skirt is rayon, nylon, spandex mix and is, therefore, forgiving, but it pulled right on and buttoned without an issue. It even looked pretty good on me, which I find surprising since my hips and thighs normally make wearing pencil skirts impossible.

So why am I sharing this tidbit of information? Well, it's simple. This little anecdote about the skirt is symptomatic of what's been going on with me lately. Namely, that I've lost about 20 pounds in the last few months. What's amazing about this is that I haven't been dieting, or exercising, all I've done is to cut sweets completely out of my diet. And I do mean completely. I don't eat anything that's not sugar-free anymore, which is actually quite liberating. When I initially noticed the weight loss, I confided to Matt that I was confused and that I didn't think I'd been eating that much junk food. The man just looked at me with sympathy and said, "Yes, honey, you have. You were eating a lot of sweets." At that moment I felt, I don't know, ashamed I think.

After noticing the weight loss, I've continued to swear off sugar, which I did initially because it hurts my teeth and not because I don't want it. It's a constant struggle, because I love sweets more than just about anything. I'd die for pie at any given moment, but I've been using this thing I didn't even know I had, this thing called willpower. Amazing, right, who knew?! What's funny is that I didn't actually notice the loss because I'd been weighing myself. My scale weighs about 10 lbs heavy (I'd love to have an accurate scale) so I avoid it like the plague because it makes me feel miserable. Anyway, while preparing to shower one morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "hey, you look slimmer." I weighed after my shower and it turns out that I was actually slimmer! I'd lost 15 or so pounds by that point, which was fantastic and surprising. Recently, I've weighed again and am another 5 pounds down. Awesome!

Still, I've been concerned because it's never been easy for me to lose weight. Being in my early 30s, its been nearly impossible, in fact. I've dieted, worked out, and not noticed changes. Now, I'm dropping it and all I did was make one little dietary change. Seems very suspicious. Then I remembered that when my doctor prescribed me Fluoxetine she said that it might help me lose weight. So, maybe it's the combination of the Sprintec (birth control pills) and the Fluoxetine (for depression) that's regulating something in my system and making it possible for me to lose weight. I have no idea, but you had better believe that I'm going to talk to my doctor about it when I see her next week. It's especially significant because my doctor ran a whole lot of tests and found out that I don't have PCOS, my thyroid is perfectly normal, and so are the hormones in my pituitary gland. So, I'm healthy and capable of losing it, which is good news but also means that I'm to blame for not having lost it before. I was just doing something wrong.

I've also been sort of on the fence about it because a lot of my clothes still fit me fine. My jeans still fit, though they're a tiny bit loose, and so do most of my shirts. But, I feel better, the scale says I weight less, and my rings aren't completely fitting. Matt even said to me, the other day, that I look smaller. Awesome to hear that and so encouraging!! Anyway, at this point, to continue my weight loss, I'm going to start doing Weight Watchers this coming week. Wish me luck. I'm looking forward to it, actually, but I'm also nervous. Matt and I are also going to add walking to our daily routine (I hope) in hopes that a little bit of exercise will go a long way. He's always saying that he wants to walk, but every day comes and goes and we don't do it. One of these days, we just need to get out and go! For now, I think I am going to wear that skirt, maybe to work one day (big maybe!). I'm usually really self-conscious about wearing skirts, but I feel so good about the fact that that skirt fits me, I may just ignore my self-debasing concerns and rock it!

I hope this keeps up, I'm feeling very much like I won't have to be heavy forever and it feels good!