Hesitant, Hopeful

I'm trying to do my Organizational Behavior homework, but my mind keeps straying. Perhaps I need a break. Okay, more than perhaps, considering I've been doing homework since I woke up this morning. I did my finance homework, which is accounting right now and which took me four hours to complete. Then I read a chapter (about 60 pages) in one of my Organizational Behavior books and took the quiz for that chapter, for which I scored 50/50 points. Now, I'm trying to read the first section of a book called The Ropes to Skip, The Ropes to Know and though it's interesting reading, I can't seem to keep focused, which means I can't seem to remember what I'm reading from sentence to sentence. Ugh, my brain is fried and I still have to finish reading that section, at least, tonight so I can write a synopsis/review.

Yes, graduate school is back and yes, I'm back to stressing. The thing is, I'm not sure why I'm stressing except that it's what I do--I wasn't the least bit worried before the semester started. True, all of this material is completely new to me, but I'm getting it and it's not overly difficult, for the most part (though I am worried about passing Finance with a decent grade). It's also really, really interesting. I feel like I'm learning a practical skill to go along with my human skills and it feels good. I had no idea when the semester started that I could actually enjoy business homework, but I do. I really, really do. And while some of it may feel like common sense, I can certainly see where it's laying the groundwork for more complicated work to come. I mean, one of my management classes and my finance class are both leveling work since I don't have an undergraduate degree in business. It's completely understandable that they would require these classes.

But, that doesn't make me any less worried about doing well in them. Particularly my finance class. So far, I've done well on the quizzes and homework, but the homework is such that we can check our answers and so far, many of my answers have been wrong on the first go. So, I worry that I won't do well on the test, where I won't be able to check my answers. But, hopefully, I'll do well enough on everything else that my test grades won't completely sink me. It's just that this finance class sort of stands between me and all the rest of the program's work, which I know that I am more than competent to undertake. I just have to get past this math-like stuff with a B or better to get there--and who really wants to make a B?

So, I work on homework all weekend right now, but am planning to focus on trying to spread it out and get more work done during the week. I just have to convince myself that working Tues-Thurs and doing homework Fri-Sun isn't the most ideal way to work. Hmm, of course, right now, when I put it like that, it seems to be perfect. I suppose, as the semester proceeds, we'll see. Matt's schedule dictates a lot, particularly where finance homework is concerned because we've been trying to work on it together/in tandem so that if I have issues, I can get help with them because he's much more mathematically inclined than I am. This wouldn't be a problem if he didn't work every other weekend--which leaves me to my own devices and him trying to squeeze homework in between 12 hour shifts ever other week. Ah well, I'm sure we'll work it out. For now, I'm off to find something to eat, watch a bit of TV and then get back to my Ropes to Skip book.