Hesitant, Hopeful

I had one of those days yesterday. I was feeling really manic and as a result I got a lot done--read a chapter of marketing, began and finished a case study assignment, read/reviewed three accounting chapters, took three account quizzes, did most of next week's accounting homework, and graded seven papers. That's a ton of work and I'm glad to have it done, but I also couldn't wind down when it was time to go to bed. So, I was up until 3:30 a.m. and now I'm exhausted. Unfortunately, I have things to do today, but I don't know how much will get done. I'm feeling more depressed than usual today and just want to curl up, watch some TV, and nap.

I mean, I know this manic-depressive cycle isn't healthy, but I kind of like the manic part. Do you think that's wrong? I really like the highs, but I don't know if it's worth the low lows that follow. I could probably stand to try to remember to take my meds more consistently and this wouldn't happen. . . but then how would I get anything done? I'm starting to feel like I need the trade off. When I'm down (which is a lot, but less lately now that I'm working again) I can't get anything done. I need the highs to power through some of the work I have so that everything gets done.

Take today for example. I did a ton of work yesterday, but today I need to read several chapters of organizational behavior (really enjoy that book, by the way) and take the accompanying quizzes, read the Ropes to Skip section/chapters, write the chapter reviews and connecting concepts assignment, update the peer review sheet for my student's second paper so they can do their peer review on Tuesday, update the assignment sheet for the third paper so that I can make copies and hand it out this coming week, and I need to decide on deadlines and material for paper three. Oh, and I need to do a traintraq training assignment about research for work. See what I mean. Where's my manic highs today? I could really use them.

Ugh, stupid brain. I am seriously going to try to remember to take my meds more consistently and I've been taking vitamins regularly to try to get a bit of extra nutrients, who knows, maybe that will help. I should also probably lay off the sugar, which I started eating again this week (in excess, really, but I have a good *monthly* excuse). Who knows, maybe I'll feel better next week? I sure hope so because I have to write a research paper for my management class that's due on March 4 at noon. It's only 8-10 pages, I can swing that without a problem, but sitting down and actually working on it is another matter entirely.

Okay, off to go wallow in self-pity and watch some documentaries I DVR'd about prisons in America.  Love that sort of stuff. Maybe after bit I'll have the energy to do what needs to be done today so that I'm not doing all of that tomorrow, when Matt's off work. Might take my iPad to the couch with me, though, just in case I feel the energy, since they're e-books. . . assuming that I remembered to charge it yesterday while I was in la la land. Yeah, going now.