Hesitant, Hopeful

Well, I certainly have my drama queen moments, don't I? Reading over my last post reassured me that I do. I made an A on my research paper (a 95 to be exact), which has made me feel a little bit less emotional about failing my accounting exam. I only say a little bit less emotional because a 95 is a little bit disappointing. I have an MA in English and I can't do better than a 95 on a research paper. . . really? My only consolation there is that I wrote the paper in one evening and was under the understanding that I could have made a C on that paper and still made an A in the class. Of course, if I'd made a C on the paper I might have lost it. Seriously. There's just no right answer here, it seems like nothing makes me happy these days.

Thank god it's spring break. Although, I have 45 papers to grade this week, so maybe not. I actually mind grading less than I did when I was working as a graduate assistant, but it's still not m favorite activity. If I could just bring myself to get started, maybe I could get it done. That seems to be the hang up right there. Spending spring break grading papers isn't my idea of a good time. And really, I only need to grade one class's papers this week, I can do the other class next week, when school's back in because I don't have to return them until March 26th. So maybe that's where the balance is. Just get one class done and be happy with that small bit of progress.

It doesn't help that Matt took a vacation day this week so that he could have an extra day off during spring break. Since it was his short week anyway, he only has to work one day, Wednesday. He'll be off Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday through Sunday. That's a lot of days off and he's going to want to spend them gaming. He's managed to talk me into playing a new RPG, Anima, and though I can't seem to find my way toward being as enthused about it as he is, I'm having an okay time. I also found another RPG, called Wolsung, which is a "steam pulp fantasy" RPG that I'd like to give a try but with gaming, with Matt, since he's the GM, we get into the systems he wants to play. He's pretty ambivalent about the systems I'm into, which is a fairly recent thing, but it's annoying nonetheless. It use to be that I was the one picking the systems. When we got together he only really played D&D 2e and Shadowrun, with a tiny bit of Cyberpunk tossed into the mix. Then I started being interested in other systems, so we played them. These days, though it's all him. So my chances of getting my grading done his week go down because Matt will be home all week.

It's nice to have time off, anyway. I don't have any work due for the classes I'm taking during spring break, so here's not much to do other than relax, clean my house--big, big task there, I hate to clean so I ignore it until it becomes a pretty big issue--game, and grade about 25 papers. That's not a bad week, all in all. I shouldn't be so whiny, I know, I just can't seem to help it these days. Which is fucking stupid, particularly since my life has been pretty good of late. I have a job I'm actually enjoying this time around (most days, anyway), I have a good husband and a good marriage, I've even had time to read a book for leisure this last week. Things are awesome, 2013 has been awesome, so what the hell is my problem? I wish I knew.

So now I'm going to go try to work on getting my house clean and watch some Supernatural, I'm almost done with season 5. Love that show so freaking much--Jensen Ackles is completely swoon-worthy! Try to have a good day with what's left of my weekend, and my time alone, before Matt's off all week. Laters, baby.