Monday, November 18, 2013

five good things...

I feel like hell today. I slept pretty well last night, I had a good breakfast, but emotionally, I'm really low. The fact that I have pretty much zero reason to feel low is only making it worse--it always does. But then, depression works that way, doesn't it. It makes us feel ugly and numb, then tears us down when we feel ugly and numb.

Maybe making a list of all of the reasons I shouldn't feel like this will make me feel better? Lists are the answer to the universe's problems, after all. Right? Right. Ugh, positive self-talk always makes me feel stupid.

Okay, so...

1) Last night I got quite a lot of writing done. I wrote about 2,750 words. After those words, I'm now only about 8,000 words behind schedule to finish NaNoWriMo.

2) This picture of this guy...

Chewbi loves playing dress up (eh, hem... yeah).

3) I've lost 14 lbs since I started working toward losing some weight about two months ago. That's one pound shy of my first goal. When I lose 15 lbs, as a reward, I'm going to get myself RunKeeper Elite.

4) I have a really smart, supportive husband. Really, really smart and supportive. He works hard to remind me that I can get my writing done and he cheers me on when I meet my goals.

5) I get to go back to work in January. Thank god! I am absolutely lost without something meaningful and productive to do. Since I love my job, it's great that I have the opportunity to go back to work after Christmas.

I just took a whole lot of nastiness out of that list. Almost all of the things was twice as long and included the negative things. Like the fact that I hate like a garbage bin last night (1,600 calories in one meal, yikes!). But, I think I needed to see the list exactly the way it is, with only the positive stuff. Sadly, a list of good things going on has done nothing to make me feel better. I think I'll go clean something or get some writing done. If I hand out here much longer I may decide to make a list of bad things. I can think of a lot more than five bad things.


  1. :-(

    Sorry Kristyn. Just stare at the pic of Chewbi more...that one's cheering me up and I'm not even sad.

  2. That is SUCH a cute picture!!! What a face!

    Congrats on your weight loss. Hope you feel better soon :)

  3. Holy cow! 14 pounds in two months? That's amazing. And 2570 words in one night? Whew! You know that "fake it til you make it" mentality? That's how I look at things when I'm down. Also, exercise does wonders for depression. I know it's so hard to get motivated, but my elliptical and a good book can solve pretty much any dour mood. (I had serious depression only a month ago after a miscarriage. I know what it's like to just FEEL down for no reason.)

    You've got some serious AWESOME going on in your life, so do what you can to focus on it, eh? Fake it until you claw yourself out. You can do it!

  4. That just might work, Jodi! He's such a doll. :)

  5. Thanks, Shannon. I have my ups and downs. I feel better right now, but I have a lot of things coming soon that have the power to drag me right back into abject misery depending upon how they go. :)

  6. Hi, Crystal, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave me a thoughtful comment. I'm always grateful to have the chance to meet new people. The weight's coming off slowly but surely--it would be coming off quicker if I stopped sabotaging myself with bad food choices! I'm definitely trudging along with NaNoWriMo, but I know it's a lot of words for one month, so I'm trying not to be hard on myself about the prospect of not finishing, or even not finishing my novel by mid-January. :)