Monday, November 4, 2013

making coffee...

You're about to learn something totally arbitrary about me. Ready? Okay, here it is: I absolutely, positively hate making coffee. Hate it. If I never made another freaking pot of coffee again, it would be too soon. That, though, is about the farthest thing from reality imaginable. In reality, I make at least one pot of coffee a day and sometimes two or three.

But here's the issue: I don't drink much coffee. I don't drink it. I think I've had one cup of coffee in the last six months. I hate the way it tastes without a hiding the nasty flavor behind tablespoons of sugar and flavored creamers. I like a little coffee with my cream, as they say--and I will eat up some flavored creamers, mmmm, empty calories. But I'm still stuck making the damn coffee and it's starting to make me resent the coffee drinker in my life who's too lazy to make his own.

And I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, it's just a pot of coffee. A little water and some grounds. That may be what it is to you, but to me it's an expensive, annoying, headache. To me it's a new coffee pot every 6-8 months because our water's so hard it destroy's coffee pots. To me, it's bean grinders and $8-$15 pouches of coffee that'll make five pots. To me it's having to make a huge water mess all over the place (and myself) because they've never made a carafe that could pour water evenly. To me it's huge coffee grounds messes because when he does make his own coffee he often misses the trashcan with the used grounds--do you have any idea how hard it is to sweep up coffee grounds? To me it's the constant, "honey, could you do me a favor?" in that whiny voice that says one thing but means, "I know this is going to piss you off, but could you go in the kitchen and make me coffee, even though you don't drink it, because I can't be bothered."

So yes, I'm ranting about making coffee because one of these days I'm going to throw the stupid coffee pot at his head. You know, the 12-cup coffee pot, becasue lord knows his 64 oz. coffee tankard can't hold the product of a one-cup coffee maker. Have I mentioned that I've been trying to get a Keurig (for my occasional coffee, tea, and ciders) for the last two years, and STILL don't have one, but we've bought something like three or four 12-cup coffee pots in the same amount of time? Yeah. Not awesome.

Now I have to stop bitching and go into the kitchen to see if the coffee is done so I can put it in his cup, with ice of course because heaven forbid he should drink it hot and save me a few steps, so that Matt has coffee while he does his homework. I cannot wait for coffee to go extinct (yeah, arabica, it's going extinct--unfortunately not until I'm dead).