Tuesday, January 7, 2014

358 to go...

You know that thing that happens when you don't blog for a while and then for a little while more, and the longer you're away the harder it is to come back? Yeah, that's not what's happening with me right now. It has been in the past, and it would be easy to say it was again, but no. That wouldn't really be very honest. The honest thing would be to admit I've been avoiding it. And you're probably wondering what there is to ignore, and likely thinking that ignoring a personal blog is a bit like ignoring yourself, but had I come here before now, everything would have gone down hill. It would have devolved into a pity party because, honestly, this year has been so crappy so far. I'm ready for it to be over and we've still got 358 days to go.

You see, someone I care about--my mentor and someone I really look up to--was in a pretty bad car accident right before the new year. I've been sick since before the new year and now Matt's sick, too (even though I warned him that lovin' on me could potentially have that negative side effect). My voice is breaking, I'm coughing, and though I don't generally feel bad, it's still annoying not to be able to talk for longer than five minutes without starting to lose my voice. Since I'm going back to work in less than one week, this is really not the time for this. The crud needs to go the hell away. Oh, and we got a new insurance plan (one I chose) and I kind of neglected to do my homework so now we have to get new doctors since ours don't take our plan. So yeah, a really ugly few weeks.

But, hopefully, things will be looking up. Word is that my mentor who was in the accident (and her husband and mother) are recovering well, thought he process will be a long one. I'm starting to get better and Matt says he is too. My mom had surgery on January 2nd and came through it really well, even though she was in the hospital for two days afterward. Matt's still loving his new promotion, which makes it easier for him to be happy about going to work. And, like I said before, I go back to work next week--a situation I'm really looking forward to since, against all odds, I've grown to really love my job. I've also managed to lose a few more pounds and get my weight loss efforts back on the right track (since I lost nothing for a month and a half over the holidays).

I'm trying to look on the bright side about all of this, can you tell? But really, do you know how hard it is for a pessimist (and a cynic who worries about everything) to look on the bright side? I can barely see the damn bright side. Maybe this year is just getting all of it's crap out of the way before things get too much further along. I just wish it wouldn't, I can't really process this much suck all at once. Maybe once my schedule normalizes out and I'm back to work, and have something of a purpose and something to keep me busy again, then I'll have an easier time of it. Maybe now that I have new insurance I really well seek therapy. Good lord, even though things are starting to look up, I need some good news right about now.

And, despite my efforts to avoid it, I just realized this post turned out kind of depressing. Bah!