Hesitant, Hopeful

I cannot believe it's already the new year. I say every year that I have no idea where the last 12 months have gone, but this year I know exactly where they went. This year has been so insane. The most insane so far, in fact. The most wonderfully, painfully insane. I wouldn't trade even a single minute of it. Even the difficult ones. It's those that teach you what you're really made of. This year, I learned I'm made a strong stuff. I'm proud of that.

It's snowing again. It snowed for several hours today, despite the weather channel saying it wouldn't. And now, it's snowing again. From our office windows at work today, I watched the snow coming down. It's so remarkably beautiful. I have never, ever seen so much snow. But, you know, this winter has been a learning experience, too. Cold weather is not all snow and fun. It can cause some weird, and often difficult, situations.

Take, for example, when I twisted my ankle last week. I was trying to walk from the car to the porch, but the walk hadn't been shoveled so there was a foot of snow. I could see Matt's footprints, where he had stepped down into the snow, and decided like a genius that I ran less risk of getting snow in my shoes (I wasn't wearing socks) if I followed in his footsteps... literally. As it turns out, his steps are longer and his gait is different. I took one wrong step, slipped a little, and twisted my foot. I just about went down, into the snow, which would have made me both hurt and angry. It's still hurting.

Or, take the fact that on Sunday our washing machine drain pipe (in the wall) overflowed and flooded half my bathroom. When the plumber came on Tuesday night, it was still clogged. Turns out the pipe had frozen. Our bathroom, where the pipes for the washer are, is on an outside wall. When it reaches into negative temps at night on a regular basis the pipes don't stand a chance. The plumber said that we could either cut a hole in the wall to let warmth into the pipes, or we could put ice melt (or water softener salt) down into the pipe to keep it from freezing/resolve any more freezes.

And, did you know it can actually be too cold to snow? My co-workers were saying that snow was a good thing because it meant the temperatures stayed up and it didn't get too cold. Um, it's already too cold if you ask me, but yeah. There's a perfect temp for snow. Not too warm, not too cold. When it gets too cold, it won't snow. That sounds crazy to me, but apparently it's a thing. For me, I'm glad it's snowing because it keeps powder on the ground and gives me traction. Almost every single day I just about take a spill in the very icy, very slippery parking lot. So snow, keep on coming!

Even still, with all the issues and the problems, I love it. I certainly wouldn't trade it for Texas (where they actually got a dusting of snow this last week, by the way). Nothing makes me feel better than to snuggle down in my bed, with my dogs, and read a book. Cold outside, snow falling; warm inside, bundled up. Utah is an amazing place.

A photo posted by kristynmarie78 (@kristynmarie78) on Dec 27, 2015 at 1:46pm PST

When I learned we were moving to Utah, the first thing I thought was "SNOW!!!" I couldn't wait to get here and get to winter so I could enjoy some real, honest to goodness snow! After all, living in both California and Texas, snow wasn't terribly regular and when it did snow it was always wet or icy. Never pretty, fluffy snow. Heck, I didn't even believe in fluffy, powdery snow. I cynically balked at the idea that snow could be powdery.

Matt and I went to breakfast together today. I took the day off because I had a ton of things to do that could only be done during the day, so we started by spending some time together. It's a big deal because we rarely see one another. Working opposite schedules is painful, but we're managing it with grace. At least, I think we are. We're making the most of the time we have together, but there are those times when I don't want to adult. I just want us to have more time together.  But today, we had a few stolen moments and it was wonderful.

I'm taking the bus this week... for the first time ever. Before now, there was either no bus to take or no need to take one. Oh!! You know what... ?? I have ridden the bus before. I just remembered!! When I was in high school, there were a few days I ditched and took the bus from school to the mall (who puts a bus stop right in front of a high school, anyway?!). But that was more than 20 years ago. I don't think it counts. 

The parking lot next to the bus stop. Just down from our house. Beautiful in the morning!!

I have arrived there, y'all. I have finally gotten to the mythical place where, quite suddenly, I do not give a crap. The place where years of putting in the effort to reach for people who don't reach back has left me truly and throughly done with it. I am done. That's all. I. am. over. it.

My folks were in town last week. They came out to see our house and to celebrate my mom's birthday. It was absolutely awesome to see them, even though it was too short. It always seems to be too short. But, I was so pleased that they could come out and just when it's turning fall here, too. Great visit, gorgeous weather. We went to Bear Lake, visited some local places, and just spent the week together.

I had to work on Monday and Tuesday, but we spent the evening together on those days. On Tuesday my dad and I went to Salt Lake City to pick up Candi from the airport. That was an adventure. We drove into and then out of the little airport pretty quick. Fortunately, unlike some airports (Vegas and Dallas, for example) we didn't end up all the way out and were able to do a round-about. Then we had to find where to park and all that. It was kind of hilarious, actually.


On Wednesday, we went to Bear Lake for my mom's birthday. The drive through Logan Canyon is amazing all the time, but when it's turning fall, it's breathtaking. And, honestly, it's not even full-fledged fall yet. I'm going to make Matt take me back through there closer to the end of October.


The overlook before you get to Bear Lake is awesome. It's such a photogenic mountain. Candi and my Aunt Pam took tons of pics. I just love it. I don't so much love the last few minutes of drive to get there, it's high and winding, and scares me a bit, but the fear is worth it. Besides, without that, you wouldn't have this...


My folks pulled into a park there in Garden City (Bear Lake) and we noticed this little boardwalk that winds through a short wetland. Foxtails are growing up all along the path, along with a lot of other high brush. We saw a deer hopping around in there, but weren't fast enough to catch it on camera. Every angle of this little boardwalk was photogenic. I just loved it and I hadn't known it was here before now.

At the end of the boardwalk was the beach. The lake has receded a bit because it's so late in the season, so we had to make a short trek down to it. Candi and I went, the rest stayed up at the picnic tables. I think they thought we were a little crazy!


We walked around in the quite cold water, took pictures of the beach, and just enjoyed ourselves. That lake is awesome. We may have to go back when it's summer and the lake is higher. Even still, it's a beautiful lake. We all enjoyed our time out there.

After the lake, I got everyone together on that little boardwalk for a group pic...


I just love this pic! Everyone looks awesome. Even Princess (the dog, of course) made it into the pic. Matt's smirk makes me smile. But this pic. This pic is awesome (except that my aunt's head got chopped off). Matt cannot take a picture without the bunny ears. He just can't help himself...


On the way home from Bear Lake we took a ton of pics of the canyon. It's just too beautiful not too stop and snap a few...




Tell me it is not just gorgeous! That little bridge pic was taken from just near the water where I took the pano of the river. I sort of wished we had taken a picnic and had lunch out there. Matt had to go to work for a meeting, just an hour and a half, but a picnic might have been pushing it on time.

When we got back into town, we enjoyed the afternoon and on Thursday went out to see some of the antique shops in town and stopped into the Bluebird Candy Company. Confession: I had no idea this little shop was here at all. My mom was looking into the local stuff and found it. And what a great find! They make the absolute best candy, all hand dipped. No machines for coating, each chocolate is dipped, one at a time, by hand. The old fashioned way.


They have such a cute little shop. Matt and I got a one pound box, my folks got two pounds. They don't live here and there were more of them to share it. Candi had fun picking out all the flavors. We all really loved stopping in there. The woman behind the counter was so nice, very chatty and made us feel right at home. And how gorgeous is this...


Such a pretty box! I just love it. And everything inside has been delicious so far. I told Matt that if he was ever at a loss as to what to buy me for holidays, this was his saving grace.

On Friday, they left for home. It was really a very lovely week. They (almost) all really liked Utah and our little town. We certainly love it here. And, it's only a 10 hour drive from home, which is even better. Next time, it'll be us going to them. I'm thinking it'll be after the new year some time, we'll see.   On Saturday they were home safe and sound, and in time to pick up Lexi (the other dog) from the doggy hotel. She's too ornery to take road-tripping. ;)

Getting settled in our new place has been so surreal. I still have moment where I'm struck by how strange it is that we actually live in Utah. Utah, of all places. I had no idea we would ever be here, let alone that we could love it so much. It's caught me off guard in every conceivable way. That said, as strange as it's been, we're actually getting settled. Our house is starting to look, little by little, like people actually live here.

While we're settling in, I've been bitten by the domestic bug. It's been an urge so powerful, I can't seem to ignore it. I'm admittedly not the most domestic person ever. I like to sew, but I sort of suck at it, and I hate to clean. So far, my domestic streak has extended to decorating and not much further. But a few weeks ago, on a whim I bought a canning magazine at the check-out line. Then, I bought a boiling water canner and some jars. This weekend, I bought fruit and actually turned it into jam!

I'm so thrilled with myself. Normally, I'd be skeptical, but it came out so good, I can't help but feel a sense of victory. I've done something thoroughly domestic and I've done it well. Go me! Of course, I suppose it's also a little bit sad that I feel so good about something so small. But, whatever.

Whew, okay, y'all do not know how hard it's been keeping this one to myself! I've been sitting on this for, oh, about two months. Finally, I can talk about it... or, am willing to talk about it. See, I've gotten a little superstitious in my old age. I was terrified that talking about it, or hoping too hard, or planning, would somehow jinx it. So, I resisted making plans about how to decorate and didn't talk about it with anyone--except Matt and my family. Matt had faith from the start. He's the optimist amongst us.

So here it is... WE BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!!!!


It has been a long, winding road. But, despite all the issues we've had getting here, the destination is awesome. The whole thing can pretty much be summed up like this...

Once upon a time, a couple finds a house they like. They move into the house they like (with a short-term rental agreement) and work on buying it. One day, they learn that the bank won't let the seller sell it, so they have to look for a new house. Their awesome realtor is there to facilitate their change and they quickly find a great new house. They apply for great new house, are approved, but there's a problem because of the old house. Problem solved, the couple get their keys, move into their new house, and live happily ever after.

The house we just closed on was built in 1961. It's a smidge over 1,200 sq. ft., three bedrooms, two bathrooms. I was looking for a place that had character and this one does. It's not cookie cutter and it's adorable. I absolutely LOVE it.

Living room (view from the kitchen)

The inside has a lot of really nice finishes, like hardwood floors and a neat little shelf cut into the wall in the living room. The windows have really pretty molding. The entry way, kitchen, and bathrooms all have pretty porcelain tile.

Living room (view from the front door)

The kitchen is pretty tiny, but that's just fine for us. It has pretty formica counters and white cabinets with brushed nickel handles.

Little hallway (view from living room)

There isn't a hallway, but the house has some really deep cabinets in the little space between the bedroom doors. All the rooms have pretty standard size closets, including the master bedroom. So, no huge closets, but that's pretty standard considering the house was built 54 years ago.

Master bedroom (view from the door)

The master bedroom is the only room without hardwoods, but has a really nice soft carpet instead. It also has TONS of windows. Just this one bedroom has three windows, there's a big window in the living room and one in each bedroom. Both doors have windows in them and there's a small widow in the kitchen. Even the detached garage has windows. And, all the windows have really nice white wood mini-blinds.

Master bedroom (view toward the door)

The master bedroom is also the only room that's sunken down. See the three steps/stairs on the left of the pic, those stairs go into the living room. The door at the bottom of the stairs is the master bathroom. One of the best features of this house is that the laundry is in the master bathroom. To me, that's awesome. Who want's to walk all the way across the house to do laundry when you could just do it in the place where your clothes live?!

A bit of the master bathroom (view from the laundry area)

All in all, we're really happy with our purchase and are looking forward to getting moved in... tomorrow! Things have been so hectic, it's been a lot of hurry-up and wait, hurry-up and wait. Now that the hurrying is done, it's time to move. House closed today, move in tomorrow. I have just a little bit of packing to do still tonight. It's going to be a pretty easy move, compared with our move here. We absolutely cannot wait!

*All of the above pics were taken by our realtor's assistant, Scarlet. She was nice enough to share them with me. She's awesome.

I'm not LDS and I'm not from Utah, so when the locals started talking about Pioneer Day, I was just a little bit lost. They all seemed so enthusiastic. Celebrations and fireworks are said to abound. It is, they say, the celebration of Brigham Young and the first mormon pioneers' pilgrimage into the Salt Lake Valley in 1847.  It's literally a holiday celebrating a pilgrimage. It's celebrated on July 23rd and 24th.

As an outsider, both to the state and to the LDS religion, I've been seeking to find some significance in Pioneer Day that isn't, perhaps, historical or religious, but is instead personal. Trust me when I say it didn't take much looking to see how this particular holiday might apply to our lives of late. It wasn't that long ago, after all, that we took a pilgrimage to Utah. Our move here was harrowing (dramatic, yes?), and difficult, but we made it and happily settled here.

We're both going to be working on Pioneer Day, which is particularly ironic since our pilgrimage to Utah was for Matt's job. Though he won't be here at night to see the fireworks because of his schedule, I'll be watching them from our back patio--they're doing fireworks in a park right around the corner from us. And, as much as I love fireworks under normal circumstances, I think I might love them just a little more this Pioneer Day. A small reminder that, however difficult our journey has been, it's also been wonderful and rewarding.  It's been a hard road, but at the end we found a home.

Lets talk about something happy--because I have news and because I'm trying to put my happier foot forward. There're so many positive things happening lately, with our move and trying to buy a house (fingers crossed because there're lots of things that have to happen just the right way), but I think I'll start with my new job.

I don't know if I said so, but two weeks or so ago I tested for a job with a local company. They gave me and the others in my test group a tour of the offices, talked about the company, and then we tested for some basic skills required to succeed at the job. I was hopeful, but cautiously optimistic after testing. The next day they called me back for an interview. Half a week after that I was offered a spot.

So, I started on Monday and so far I'm really liking it. It's an office job in an industry where I have no experience. Fortunately, that was okay with them and it gives me experience doing something other than teaching and writing--not that I'm not going to keep writing, I just won't be compelled to do it for a living. The company is fun and upbeat, and everyone seems really happy with their jobs. It's exactly the sort of place I've always wanted to work... and now I do. So funny how things happen sometimes.

I find out later this week, probably on Friday, what team I'll be going to inside the department for which I was hired. All at once, I'm both looking forward to it and nervous to find out where I'm going to be working. I hope my new team likes me okay and that I'm a good fit there. I'm certainly going to give it my all.

In the meantime, I'm exhausted. It's been a little while since I worked a full-time job outside the house. It's a different beast working from home or working a flexible schedule as an adjunct, than working full-time. I actually love it because it means I'm out there, doing something. I'm sure, given a few weeks, once I get onto my team and get going, I'll adjust and be less tired. I hope so, anyway. Fingers crossed.

Last night, we had one of THOSE moments. You know the ones, they make you laugh and cry all at the same time. Yeah, THOSE moments.

With a new home and a new haircut (okay, so maybe not a totally new haircut), I think I need a new outlook. So, I'm rebranding. Meet my new name: Hesitant, Hopeful. I think it speaks to who I am better than does Pretty Pessimist anymore.

So, what does it mean? Exactly what it says. I'm shy, but looking forward to better things. In almost every way I'm exactly that... hesitant, hopeful.

If it grows on me and I don't come up with a better fit, I'll change my URL. For now, it's a baby step. Just my title. (Update: I got a new domain, but my old one redirects here. So it'll still work).

Since I've been Pretty Pessimist for a long time--since September 2009--it's a big deal for me. But, this isn't my first rebranding. My first blog was called "ya don't say..." and then, later, "Retold." But this isn't that sort of change. When I left those blogs, I completely started over with this one. I have no intentions to start over. This blog has chronicled too many milestones to start over now.

Welcome to the new me, which is pretty much just the old me with a new name. (^.~)

It's 12:20 a.m. and I'm awake. Maybe I shouldn't have had that drinking energy drink at 9:00 p.m.? Maybe I shouldn't be binging on Ink Master, season 5. Maybe, maybe, maybe... but I did and I am. So, here I am.

We've been in Utah for about three and a half weeks, so far, and I'm still loving it here. It's remarkably beautiful, everyone is nice--aside from the random scary aggressive driver. But, I can't help think about all of the insanity the first half of this year has been. It's been unbelievable and hectic. It has been the single hardest year of our lives, so far, and that's saying a lot.

January started with an insane amount of travel. Matt went came to Utah, from Texas, for two weeks for a work project. He had an amazing time and learned that he loved it here, and that this was where he wanted to go. Gone two weeks, we were apart and I didn't handle it all that well. He came home for a week and then I was gone, off to California to see my family. We spent one week together during the first five weeks of the year.

We spent most of February and March sick. I had no voice for three weeks and after that I was raspy. It was tough because, well, who likes to be sick? I hate it. At the end of March, Matt came back to Utah to interview for his current job. I was on pins and needles, but I was also so thrilled. One week later, we found out he had the job. Probably the most exciting thing that's happened to us in a long time. We're both so thankful. Matt worked really hard for this.

Did I mention that this entire time, Matt was working on his last semester in grad school? He did an amazing job getting everything done, even though he was crazy busy and very tired. He graduated at the end of May and I could not be more proud. Just in time for our move.

In the months between March and May, we cleaned and packed and prepared for our move. It was hectic in the extreme. I was exhausted. Matt was exhausted. But, we knew it was all for an amazing opportunity, which made every second worth it. Every. Single. Second.

Even the hailstorms... yes, plural. The $9,900 damage to my car and getting it repaired in a hurry. Having to take it back to the auto body shop, two hours away, because the windshield wasn't sealed properly. Only to have it hit by hail again two days before we left for Utah. Covering a car with blankets before a hailstorm will help, it certainly helped save my car. At least it wasn't destroyed completely (I've just gotten it fixed here in Logan this last week).

Our move was crazy and didn't go at all the way it should have. I won't go into that again except to say that it was absolutely, 100% exhausting. Again, every single second was completely worth it. I would do it all again in a heartbeat because we love it here.

Now, I'm looking for work. I put in somewhere around 15 applications. Got a pretty quick call back from a very cool local company and went in to test on Tuesday. They called today to say I passed the tests. I have an interview Friday and I couldn't be more thrilled. I want to go to work for the company, so wish me luck with the interview.

Overall, I think I'm most amazed by the fact that for the first time since I moved to Texas in 1999, something so remarkably awesome is happening for us. It hasn't been easy, it hasn't been quick, but it's happening. We were living in Texas last month. We were in Texas and now were here. We're working toward buying a house and I'm looking for work. It's unbelievable to be living in such an amazingly beautiful place. We could not be more grateful for this opportunity.

Logan Canyon, Cache National Forest

It's raining tonight. I'm in the living room, watching television, listening to the storm and I feel so grateful. I feel overwhelmingly lucky and cripplingly anxious, all at once. I've gone from seeing this whole thing as scary to seeing it as an adventure. I've rocked back and forth between happy contentment and anxiety that wakes me up at night. It's all so much, but when I stop and just take it in during the quiet moments, all I can feel is happiness. Right now, all I feel is happiness.

Tonight's early evening sun from our back patio. So beautiful.

Long winded and written four days ago, but... 

Wow, so much has happened since Matt's graduation! Where do I even begin to begin? Let's just talk about the move, everything else can wait for another time or isn't important. So... the move... yeah... It has been a bit of a fiasco. We laugh and say that if it was perfect it wouldn't be us (the only other choice is to break down into tears).

Last Friday the movers came to pack our things. I had to go to Plano to get my car for the second time (long story), but Matt had taken the day off to be home with them. My day was long and rainy, and I got lost in a scary neighborhood in Fort Worth, and by the time I got home the movers had gone. They didn't pack everything, but most things. Just before I got home Matt learned that the mover wasn't going to be able to move/store our belongings (another long story). This was a problem because it was less than a week before our departure date. Matt was freaking out when I pulled into the drive.

I calmed him down, then scheduled a U-haul and a storage unit. Okay, great, except that we were going to have to spend Memorial Day weekend packing the truck. Saturday morning, when we were supposed to pick up the truck, we changed our mind and hired someone to pack the truck for us on Tuesday. Win, win. They came and did a GREAT job! First crisis averted.

We spent the next two days after that cleaning, throwing things away, and finishing the packing. Moving is a hell of a lot of work. Thank God for Melanie, who came to help me get rid of several truck loads of crap. Only a true friend will help you dump your junk while trudging through almost ankle deep mud. The area between the house and the drive, about 60 feet, is super muddy because of all of the non-stop, torrential rain. So, the move was a muddy one for sure.

The problem with the movers set us back a day, but we finally left on Thursday morning (2 hours later than we had planned). Except instead of going together in one car and sharing the driving, we now had to take our car and a U-haul (which Matt thankfully drove). We had planned to drive straight through, but couldn't with two vehicles, so we stayed in Cortez, CO on Thursday night... after 16.5 hours of driving--or in Matt's case 18.5 hours because Siri rerouted him down the wrong road by almost two hours.

Yesterday we both had a problem getting out of bed. I felt really bad (because I'm getting sick and because I didn't eat much the previous day) and Matt was so tired. After a somewhat late start, though, we got on the road and let me tell you the little bit of Colorado I saw was gorgeous!!! But, honestly, Utah trumps all. It is probably the most beautiful place I've been.

So. Damn. Beautiful.

On the way in we went through Moab, which is where Arches State Park is. It's a pretty huge tourist area, lots of outdoorsy things to do. So beautiful. My favorite thing there, or near there, is Hole in the Rock. We stopped so Matt could have a cigarette and get some gum, but I took a ton of pictures because I loved it so much. Everything down there is so beautiful. I could live among the big red rocks and be happy.


After a long day of driving, we finally arrived in Logan and it could not be more idyllic if it tried. It's so beautiful here and the town is just adorable. I absolutely love it!! We went to the house we're working toward buying. We're going to rent it until our mortgage closes. Our offer has been accepted, but there are some hurdles. If those hurdles don't clear we'll have to find another place. On the up side, we have a rental agreement through July 31, so if it falls through we have time to look for another place.

Unfortunately, though we worked to get them all on the water wasn't on when we got there because the meter is missing from the street.  So, we're in a hotel in Brigham City, about a half an hour outside Logan until Monday. We're hoping to get the water issue resolved by then so that we can move in. If we can't move in then, I'm not sure what we'll do. Our hotel reservation only lasts through Monday.

Today, we left the dogs at the house and the cat locked up at the hotel, and wen't to see Logan. Seeing it in broad daylight, I reiterate what I said before. It is amazing and perfect. I don't want to leave... like, ever. Which is sad and can only make me disappointed because eventually, someday, we're going to have to move again for his job. Most probably somewhere substantially less awesome. Boo! But, for now, we're enjoying living somewhere so pretty.

Or, we will... once it sinks in that we actually LIVE here. Right now, I feel like a tourist. Probably because we're in a hotel. Maybe when Matt's job starts on Monday and the people come to unpack the  U-haul into the storage unit I'll start to feel okay. Maybe. Then again, with as much anxiety as this trip has caused me, it may take longer. I don't know.

What I do know is that we're spending the weekend resting together. After the week we've had, we deserve it!

I've been trying to write this post for days...

Okay, so maybe not the last milestone ever, but certainly the last one in Stephenville. Matt graduated today with his MS in Management and Leadership. I could not be more proud of him!

Poor guy was so nervous that he couldn't sleep last night, so he graduated today on one hour of sleep. He was a total wreck, which made no sense to me. He's already done the hard work. This is the reward. This is the moment to celebrate that victory. And, as victory celebrations go, it was really nice.

I did warm him, though, that I was going to take a lot of pictures. Which I totally did. I got pics of him pre-grad...


And post-grad...


He looks so awesome in his regalia. It was raining, so his stole is all messy. I actually love this picture so much!!! He looks great! What am I saying? He always looks great!

He never lets me take his picture of him, so I took total advantage of this opportunity. I got pics of us together...


 Of him with his parents...



Of the stadium...


We had a pretty good vantage point, so we could see everything going on down there. The ceremony was only doctoral and master's candidates, so the ceremony wasn't too terribly long. Just about one hour exactly. Truly and honestly, I could not be more proud of him.

I feel like I'm saying goodbye a lot lately. With only three weeks left before we leave Texas, I have a lot of goodbyes to say. Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any easier to say them. It doesn't make it any less painful, either.

I'm having lunch with my best friend, Melanie, tomorrow--and we'll see one another a few more times before it's time to go. Next week, I'm having lunch with my friend Marsha. Today, Matt and I had coffee with my favorite professor.

We went to Waco to see Amanda & Karen one more time. We've had food with my father-in-law, and will again this weekend when Matt graduates with his MS in Management and Leadership from the college we've been attending since 2004. The college where I worked for several years.

We're packing everything away so that we might soon say goodbye to the little house where we've lived for the last 11 years. And though I cannot say with any sincerity that I'll miss this place, I will certainly miss the memories we made here.

We've graduated from college almost four times since we moved here. I've written a thesis and more than one as-yet-unpublished book here. Our precious cat, Chummer, died here. This is where we lived when we adopted both Anakin & Chewbacca. We've gotten jobs, made careers, and lived most of our married lives together here.

Leaving this how, this town, this state, means saying goodbye to almost every memory we have ever made together. It means saying goodbye to the possibility that we will someday live in Waco again--or that we'll even visit there again as easily as we do now. We may never go again to Lover's Leap, where Matt asked me to marry him. Or to Miss Nelly's Pretty Place in Cameron Park, where we stayed up all night just talking. Or to any number of places where we've made lasting memories. It means saying goodbye to all we've known in favor of saying hello to the unknown.

To say we're looking forward to the move would be an understatement. We're so ready for a new adventure, but that doesn't make saying goodbye to our lives in Texas any less difficult.

Soooo... According to Bradbury, I fail. Okay, maybe I hunted that quote down to support how I'm feeling about myself lately. I have a lot of excuses, namely that I'm moving and that means cleaning. And, cleaning means a LOT of work because my house is a disaster. Not an understatement. Almost a literal disaster. Seriously. Yuck


But, I've already gone on and on about that. This is about writing. Or lack there of. No progress this month, which is really hard for me because I really wanted to get this damn book done. A lot. But, that isn't going to happen for a while. Since we're moving at the end of May, it's going to be a while before we're settled again. And, once we get where we're going, I'm going to have to look for a "real job." So yeah, where writing is concerned. Bradbury got it right, at least for the time being.

When it rain it pours. That's the old expression. Well, it apparently also hails. A lot. Because we had two hailstorms in two days. On Friday (4/24), it hailed and poured torrential rain for about 10 minutes. We'll call that HS#1. On Sunday (4/26), it hailed for more than a half an hour. This is HS#2. It's an important distinction.

During HS#1, because of the direction of the wind and hail, a tree beside where I parked my Veloster caught most of the weather and my car came away from the storm with only one little dent in the hood. Amen! Matt's car, however, was  covered in dents and had cracked glass. The tree's protection didn't extend quite far enough to protect both cars. Okay, so we filed a claim with Geico for his car. Fine.

Then HS#2 came and it made HS#1 look like a pleasant spring shower. Don't get me wrong, the first hailstorm was bad. Almost all of our neighbors lost at least one window (thankfully, we didn't). But the second hailstorm was just gross. Our little town was plagued by a series of tornadoes and with them came hail and rain. It hailed for more than a half an hour straight, huge chunks of ice the size of golf balls and larger. Blessedly, we're on the side of town where we are, because the other side of town was hit by baseball-sized hail.

Since our roof is metal, the noise was remarkable. We couldn't hear one another talk. We couldn't even hear that obnoxious buzzing sound our iPhone's were making when there was an emergency alert. It was intense and terrifying, and didn't let up for a long time. It only got worse. When the hail and rain finally stopped I had the opportunity to go out and check our cars... I was devastated by the mess.

While Matt's car weathered HS#2 okay, mine was destroyed. My brand new (8 month old) car was wrecked. The glass on the top of the back window was broken out, the windshield was badly cracked, the hood and roof are covered in dents, and the pain is chipped away or breaking off in places where the hail struck it at a bad angle. It looks like someone took a bat to my beloved Veloster.

I am heartbroken. I love this car like it were my own child.


The window breaking out on top like that made for an especial mess. The leather seats are soaking wet. Even as I type this, though I've covered that window with plastic as best I could, all of my windows are fogged up from the wet trapped inside.


To see it like this breaks my heart. I can hardly think about it without crying. And seeing it makes me lose it, almost every time. I literally cried myself to sleep the night this happened. Thankfully, the dog hammock I just installed caught a lot of the glass and, likely, soaked up some of the water, too.

We go today to see the GEICO adjuster. I'm hoping this will go smoothly so I can get my car into the shop immediately. Since we're moving in 4 weeks, it really needs to get done.

My biggest concerns now are whether the insurance adjuster will give me an estimate that will cover all of the damages and whether or not the body-shop can get the parts in quickly enough to get it done before we move. Oh, and also whether or not my rental car coverage will be enough to cover my car's entire stay with the body-shop. It seems to me, at $35/day my coverage will only cover 30 days before it stops paying and I have to pick up the slack.

Fingers crossed we can get this taken care quickly and with as little heartache as is possible.