Friday, October 23, 2015

The Magic of the Move...

Matt and I went to breakfast together today. I took the day off because I had a ton of things to do that could only be done during the day, so we started by spending some time together. It's a big deal because we rarely see one another. Working opposite schedules is painful, but we're managing it with grace. At least, I think we are. We're making the most of the time we have together, but there are those times when I don't want to adult. I just want us to have more time together.  But today, we had a few stolen moments and it was wonderful.

We went to Herm's Inn. A local place, hidden nestled in "the island"--a neighborhood where the river runs up one side and down the other. It's tucked against the base of the mountain and only open for breakfast and lunch.

While eating, we talked about the magic of the move. Not just our recent move, but all moves. He enjoys discovering new places. He likes to find the gems and enjoy new environments. He likes to hunt down the local flavor, like Herm's, and experience new things. In short, he enjoys the adventure. He likes moving. 

I, on the other hand, hate to move. While I like to experience all the new places, I don't want to be unsettled. Anxiety and worry flood in and drown any sense of adventure I might have. When we moved here, I did pretty much everything. When our moving plans fell through, I made other plans. When we got here, I found us a place to live. I looked at houses, dealt with the realtor and mortgage broker, I do our budget. All of the business of moving is mine and while it helps with my anxiety, it also hurts it. 

But, I have to admit. I wanted to leave Texas as much as he did. I wanted to find greener pastures. I wanted to experience something new. I just wanted it to be permanent, which is ridiculous. Nothing is forever. Not even this. It has made me think, though, about all of the places I want to go since we've gotten here but haven't been able to get around to, so, I've made a local bucket list page for this blog. Maybe that way I'll be more motivated to take the adventure by the horns and enjoy it, rather than worrying about when this leg of the journey will end--a constant and unyielding problem for me. 

It's time to start enjoying it, to take a page from Matt's book. He enjoys the adventure, maybe I should try it. It seems like he's having so much more fun than am I. 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Taking the Bus

I'm taking the bus this week... for the first time ever. Before now, there was either no bus to take or no need to take one. Oh!! You know what... ?? I have ridden the bus before. I just remembered!! When I was in high school, there were a few days I ditched and took the bus from school to the mall (who puts a bus stop right in front of a high school, anyway?!). But that was more than 20 years ago. I don't think it counts. 

Okay, so I'm taking the bus for the first time in my adult life. There, that works. Matt's in leadership training this week, so he's taking my car. He wants to make a good impression on the corporate guys and his car is sort of beat up (and not road legal, *eh hem*). So, it leaves me out there to find my own way. I decided the bus was that way, even though my agoraphobia went a little nuts at the thought. 

So, the bus. Yeah. It's taking me about 45 minutes to get to work in the morning and home in the evenings. I don't so much enjoy the extra hour and a half commute, but I'm sort of digging the experience. In the morning, it's cool out and I get to see the town a bit. The leaves are changing and everything is gorgeous here. It's actually a really nice ride. The sort of strange part is that we only live about a 5 minute drive from work. So, the bus takes me all the way to the other side of town and then brings me back. There's no route that goes from where I am, to where I work without the round-about. 

I just keep telling myself it's only for four days. But today, kind of randomly, I realized I kind of like it. I actually like riding the bus. That is the most ridiculous part. I like it. Who knew? But, I figure it'll be a bit like when I liked going to the laundromat. By the time I got my washer and dryer, I was glad I didn't have to go anymore. By the time I get my car back, I'll probably be glad I don't have to leave for work at 7:45 to make it by 8:30. Then again, it's only been two days. I may take it another two days and decide I hate it. 

Yesterday, I was pretty pissed that I had to take the bus. I'm not 100% comfortable with doing things that's outside of my norm--my anxiety makes it really hard to do simple things like this. Since I'd never taken the bus, I was nervous about doing it. What if I misunderstood the schedule and was late for work? What if I missed a connection? What if I stayed on the bus too long and missed my stop? What if I got motion sick? Lots of what ifs. I almost didn't go to work, which is ludicrous. My anxiety about doing something pretty normal just about kept me home. 

Today, I was much more comfortable. I got there without looking at the schedule and I felt okay about it. After work, I took the shuttle (our company has a shuttle bus) to the transit center and got there just in time to meet the route 6 bus. I got home a half an hour earlier today than yesterday. Maybe I'm getting the hang of this. I think the next two days will be pretty easy. Maybe I'll take the bus more frequently, even. Anxiety permitting. 

The parking lot next to the bus stop. Just down from our house. Beautiful in the morning!!