Hesitant, Hopeful

Okay, so I'm taking the bus for the first time in my adult life. There, that works. Matt's in leadership training this week, so he's taking my car. He wants to make a good impression on the corporate guys and his car is sort of beat up (and not road legal, *eh hem*). So, it leaves me out there to find my own way. I decided the bus was that way, even though my agoraphobia went a little nuts at the thought. 

So, the bus. Yeah. It's taking me about 45 minutes to get to work in the morning and home in the evenings. I don't so much enjoy the extra hour and a half commute, but I'm sort of digging the experience. In the morning, it's cool out and I get to see the town a bit. The leaves are changing and everything is gorgeous here. It's actually a really nice ride. The sort of strange part is that we only live about a 5 minute drive from work. So, the bus takes me all the way to the other side of town and then brings me back. There's no route that goes from where I am, to where I work without the round-about. 

I just keep telling myself it's only for four days. But today, kind of randomly, I realized I kind of like it. I actually like riding the bus. That is the most ridiculous part. I like it. Who knew? But, I figure it'll be a bit like when I liked going to the laundromat. By the time I got my washer and dryer, I was glad I didn't have to go anymore. By the time I get my car back, I'll probably be glad I don't have to leave for work at 7:45 to make it by 8:30. Then again, it's only been two days. I may take it another two days and decide I hate it. 

Yesterday, I was pretty pissed that I had to take the bus. I'm not 100% comfortable with doing things that's outside of my norm--my anxiety makes it really hard to do simple things like this. Since I'd never taken the bus, I was nervous about doing it. What if I misunderstood the schedule and was late for work? What if I missed a connection? What if I stayed on the bus too long and missed my stop? What if I got motion sick? Lots of what ifs. I almost didn't go to work, which is ludicrous. My anxiety about doing something pretty normal just about kept me home. 

Today, I was much more comfortable. I got there without looking at the schedule and I felt okay about it. After work, I took the shuttle (our company has a shuttle bus) to the transit center and got there just in time to meet the route 6 bus. I got home a half an hour earlier today than yesterday. Maybe I'm getting the hang of this. I think the next two days will be pretty easy. Maybe I'll take the bus more frequently, even. Anxiety permitting.