Hesitant, Hopeful

I turned 41 last week and I feel pretty okay about it. I expected when I turned 30, then 35, and 40, that at some point I would start to feel horrible about getting older. My mom was absolutely inconsolable on her 30th birthday and struggled with 40 years old, too. There's a picture from her 30th of her sobbing while everyone sang her happy birthday. But this hasn't happened to me. I don't feel bad about getting older yet. I still feel young most of the time, aside from the occasional ache.

As mentioned in my last post, I drove out to Arizona to see my family for my birthday. That was an adventure. It was nice to see them for more than a few hours. I hadn't seen them for more than two hours at a time here and there for 3 years. I also got to see my Aunt Sandy who, except for Facetime, I haven't seen in more than 15 years and my Aunt Pam. My cousin also happened to be there.

On my birthday, my folks took me to Torrid so I could buy some clothes, which I badly needed, and to got me my free birthday shake from Del Taco. We spent most of the day after that hanging around and enjoying the afternoon. My little sister baked me an amazing pink lemonade unicorn cake.

Believe it or not, she wasn't happy with how it came out. She's a perfectionist, even when it's crazy obvious that the cake was amazing. She said it was "too short." The cake was very dense and had a very strong lemon flavor (my favorite!). She made it from a recipe I sent her from Pintrest, which I would imagine she won't be making again. The frosting was homemade buttercream. Girl has some mad baking skills. I brought about a quarter of the cake home with me, which involved freezing it solid and putting it in my Igloo in hopes it didn't thaw out on the 15 hour drive (it didn't). Matt enjoyed it.

For my birthday, my folks got me a 25 pound weighted blanket. This is a pretty big deal, because I've been wanting one for a long time. My mom has heard me talking about it and remembered. She's great at picking gifts. I've been using it for the last week since coming home and it's made me feel so much better. I have less anxiety in the mornings and I've been sleeping quite a lot better. I absolutely love it. I also got a stack of vintage records, the A&E Romance Collection DVD set, the crown jewel of which is the A&E Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth and Jennifer Elhe, and a Red Copper Pot for my collection... that stuff is the best!

On Friday morning after I got back and had had a whole night of sleep, Matt hugged me for a long time. Then, he forsook sleep and took me to Salt Lake for my birthday. He'd been awake all night, but "wasn't tired" so we went. He got tired about mid-day, so we pumped some coffee and conversation into him and he made it. We went to City Creek Center, which is a gorgeous mall, where I got Rocky Mountain Chocolate. We had dinner at The Cheesecake Factory (our new favorite) and then went to Game Night Games and got ourselves some dice. The road construction and traffic were a struggle after the long drive the day before, so my nerves were a little bit shot. But, we had a great day and really enjoyed ourselves. He's been an absolute prince to me since I got back. It's true what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder. 😂

The last thing to cap off my birthday celebration was my birthday Kickstarter. I think I've mentioned this before, but for the past few years, I've backed a Kickstarter for my birthday. This year, my birthday Kickstarter is Time Traveling with your Octopus by Brian Kesinger. I adore his work. I also backed one of his Kickstarters for my birthday during a previous year. He's a former Disney animator and his work is absolutely brilliant.

All in all, my 41st birthday was pretty damn good. Here's to being another year older gracefully and a picture of my cute little car during my birthday road trip--on the way home--just because I love her. I was in Searchlight, AZ right before I hit a monsoon. I survived to enjoy my 41st year, even though the weather had other ideas!