Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Wearing a Mask

I decided that even though most people in Cache Valley, and in Utah in general, aren't really taking this whole pandemic thing seriously, I'm still going to try to do so. The grim facts are that as of today, 28,000 American's have died from this thing; more than any other country in the world. We're in a bad place, but I'm trying to do my part for the health of my community. So, I ordered a cloth mask online (actually, I ordered three, but two haven't come yet). The CDC recommends wearing them, so I'm going to wear one. I know it's not going to keep me from getting it, but if everyone would wear a mask, the spread would slow. I'll wear a mask for you, you do the same for me, and together we protect one another. That sounds like a great plan... if only people would actually do it.

A couple of people around town have started wearing them now, but they still get seriously strange looks. In the midst of a deadly pandemic, people are still judging others for covering their damn faces. I tend to be sensitive to those sorts of things, in general. Anxiety keeps me from wanting to be seen or do anything to draw attention to myself. But these aren't normal times and I've decided that however self-conscious I feel about it, I'm wearing the mask. 

Of course, that will only be when I go out and I can't remember the last time I actually left the house. We went out to get grocery pick up a few times in the last month, but I haven't gone in anywhere in a long time. Pretty sure I haven't gone anywhere at all since around the 5th or 6th of this month, and I have no plans to do so anytime soon. But, as I've said before, Matt does. He went to Wal-Mart for meds yesterday, and I'm terrified that he brought it home with him. The same way I feel when he comes in from work. But, I know I'm not going anywhere if I can help it. I'm sheltering for as long as I feel threatened, which may be for a very long time if the news is to be believed. 

This thing is kind of turning into a pandemic/quarantine diary lately, so I'm going to stop here. I'm trying really hard to write about the day-to-day of this thing that's having such a major impact on my life, all our lives, without it devolving into a narrative about fear. Easier said than done when this thing has me so afraid.

Mermaid mask from @Mertailor on Instagram