I went to the doctor today for the first time in seven years. Between the anxiety and being overweight, I've struggled to go, so I made an appointment for Matt at the same time/place so I would have the emotional support and accountability to actually go this time... see, I've cancelled this appointment several times over the last year. But today I was braver than I was comfortable and went to the damn doctor. And you know what, I'm doing okay.
I saw a nurse practitioner, rather than an MD, and she was absolutely amazing. She was friendly and informative, we talked at length about my health, and she made me feel so comfortable. Considering how anxious I am about doctors, this is a feat. Fact is, not all doctors are created equal. I had initially wanted to go to the hub's doctor, but I didn't want to see a man for my wellness check-up (read: I'm a prude). So I decided on the female NP because, well, she's a woman. But, she was fantastic and got me on the meds I need for both birth control and my emotional issues (depression & anxiety).
I'm just waiting for test results now, which are hopefully okay, too. Everything she was able to check in the office was fine, so that's encouraging, hopefully my blood work will be equally so. She's even testing my vitamins B and D because I'm vegan.
I think the most surprising thing, honestly, was that even though we talked about my weight and exercise, she didn't treat me any differently than she would anyone else because I'm heavy. She didn't discount my fears and anxieties, she didn't chalk any issues I might have up to my weight, and she didn't ignore my concerns. The reality is, overweight people often face discrimination with doctors, so that I might face this obstacle was a big part of my anxiety. It's refreshing that I didn't and, I think, I've been lucky in this regard because the doctor I used to see in Texas was also great.
Overall, I'm just glad to have that done for the year. I have to go back in a few months, but just to discuss the meds she gave me for depression and anxiety. For now, though, I'm just going to leave this super vulnerable pic from today right here...
