Hesitant, Hopeful

The 23rd was my birthday and, honestly, it wasn't great. I don't mind getting older, I turned 44, and I'm okay with that. There are a lot of people who don't have the good fortune to make it this far. I'm blessed. But, emotionally, it was the hardest birthday I've had in years. I didn't have enough sleep (3 hours) and I felt completely emotionally raw because I've had a really trying summer. I cried, I talked with Matt for a while because he always makes me feel less awful, and after he went to work I slept most of the rest of the day away, only waking up long enough to see the fireworks at 10pm. It was over as quickly as it begun and I was fine with that. 

The fireworks were definitely a highlight, but you know I'll be really impressed when Apple makes an iPhone that can easily capture fireworks... I digress... Since then, I've gotten to thinking that I have plenty to feel great about, too. So I'm going to try to focus on that right now. 

This year, Matt got me the best gift!!! He wrote me a sonnet, then had it engraved on a pretty acrylic block. I won't lie, when he gave it to me (a week early), I bawled like a baby for like an hour. It was pretty emotional for me and even though he looked a little scared, he absolutely knew I loved it and those were happy tears. 

Trying to photograph this thing was rough and I know most people won't understand the references, but that's okay. I understand and love them. Particularly the reference to my fur-babies. Matt is an absolute King and I adore him! I may have even hugged this thing for like 6 hours after the bawling stopped. 😆

My sweet little sister got me a Jane Austen word games book, which is so much fun. That girl absolutely knows me and knows what I'd love. She's the best. And I cannot get over that book mark... it's so delicate and beautiful, I don't think I'll be able to put it in a book for fear I'll hurt it. 

My folks sent me a gift card for Amazon and I got myself a honeycomb pull apart cake pan which is so lovely!!! And the picture below is a honey cake I made and not the pan because the pan is dirty from, well, baking the cake! 

There were also my yearly birthday cupcakes from Temptation cupcake, which are so amazing. It took me a week to eat them and I shared them with Matt. Not only are they beautiful, they're delicious. And, there was my birthday Starbucks, of course. I also got some amazing birthday cards from a friend (thanks, Shayla!!) and my in-laws.

At the end of the day, I was happy it was over, but also very grateful for my blessings. I have a roof over my head, food in my mouth, and a family and friends who love me. What more could I ask for?