Thursday, January 26, 2023

Happy Birthday, Candi!! ♡

This human is my sister, Candace. She's turning 34 today (I don't think she'd mind me telling you). I remember when she was born and now she's 34!! She has grown up to be the most lovely human I know. She's sweet, caring, and independent. She came for a week to take care of me when I broke my leg and she's always willing to do for others without asking anything in return. 

Happy Birthday, Candi. I love you! 

Tuesday, January 10, 2023

I'm a Queen

Have you ever felt like you were the most awkward person to ever grace the face of Earth? Like, through time, no one could be more awkward than you? Yes? Welcome to my tribe. I feel like the single most awkward human ever. I started a new job late this summer and there is not one day that passes when I don't feel like someone I looking at me like I'm a complete weirdo. You know what I've discovered from this experience? It is completely okay to be a total weirdo. 

Whether I'm as awkward as I feel or not, I'm fine the way I am. Do I say things occasionally that come out completely wrong? Sure! Do I sometimes have no idea what to say and stammer all over myself? Definitely! But, like, that's completely okay. Be a weirdo if that's who you are. People will see you and like you, even if you have a serious inferiority complex to accompany your awkwardness, people will like you if you're authentic. And, if they don't, they will at least respect that you are capable of being who you are.

My affirmation, then, is this... I suspect I will never be past the feeling of complete awkwardness. I'm sure that every time I interact with someone and leave that interaction feeling smaller, I'll be totally fine. Not everyone will understand me and maybe I'm not for everyone, but I'm fine the way I am. Everyone is not looking at me and judging me. Not everyone is talking about me when I'm not around and not every issue is about me. I'm completely, totally awkward and I'm a queen! And, guess what, so are you!!

Saturday, January 7, 2023

What I learned in 2022

While pondering the surreal fact that it is literally 2023, I got to considering what 2022 taught me about myself. It was a year filled up ups and downs, maybe more so than any year in recent memory. Definitely the most challenging year we've had since moving to Utah almost 8 years ago. But, I rarely spend time looking back at how I changed or how I grew. Much to the contrary, I've spent a heck of a lot of time thinking about how the previous years were crushing or how miserable I was for this reason or that.

This year, I'm working to manifest happiness and strength. I'll be 45 years old this year and I've finally come to the place where I think understand who I am, at least a little bit, thanks to 2022's many lessons. I'm both too old and too young to dwell in misery. Time to look forward to all the adventures we've yet to have and only look back to consider what I've learned. 

So how did 2022 change me? I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. Sounds cliché, but it could not be truer than it was in 2022.  I learned to walk on my own two feet again, even though I was in pain and afraid. I learned that disappointments often open doors. I learned that if you put your intentions out in the universe, in earnest, and work toward your goals, things will happen for you. I discovered that when adversity hits, when the unexpected comes, I am capable of picking myself up and carrying on with grace. I can hold more weight on my shoulders than I could have known without the many challenges last year tossed our way.

It was a year of starts, of reconnecting, and also of ends. It was also a year of false starts, worries, and adversity. But, I think, the lesson is this... nothing worth having is easy and challenges encourage more growth than comfort ever could. What did I learn in 2022? I am smart and strong, I always have been, the difference is that I know it now. I cannot wait to see what 2023 has to teach me.